tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75190045572084392882024-03-05T09:54:31.547+05:30DROPZONEManjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.comBlogger99125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-72385895173839372592021-10-11T11:11:00.002+05:302021-10-11T11:14:36.746+05:30Krishna and Kabir <p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9n_AAXa0VR1kXmFzQg9KDsE_G9axB4FSbwcHpVH5jHcOYTdFkYwk9s1xUqvlT2YwR8X9FIHNwbBrojuru1QaSI8IiGyxtsdUKOdbwUkqDoPvVAaW9LZY-XLWxr37Mn7jtATILfvHGz0hp/s1400/1_1b3htJNtX6qomcEronE3pw.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1049" data-original-width="1400" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9n_AAXa0VR1kXmFzQg9KDsE_G9axB4FSbwcHpVH5jHcOYTdFkYwk9s1xUqvlT2YwR8X9FIHNwbBrojuru1QaSI8IiGyxtsdUKOdbwUkqDoPvVAaW9LZY-XLWxr37Mn7jtATILfvHGz0hp/w640-h480/1_1b3htJNtX6qomcEronE3pw.jpeg" title="Photo by Junaid Ahmad Ansari on Unsplash" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span face="sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #757575; font-size: 14px;">Photo by </span><a class="dy id" href="https://unsplash.com/@junaidahmadansari?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" target="_blank">Junaid Ahmad Ansari</a><span face="sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #757575; font-size: 14px;"> on </span><a class="dy id" href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/humayun%E2%80%99s-tomb?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" target="_blank">Unsplash</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p><p><span face="sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #292929;"><b>Chapter 1: Daydreams in the school bus</b></span></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jf ii jg jh ji im jj jk jl jm jn jo jp jq jr js jt ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="481e" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 0.86em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna was not part of the in-crowd at school. Her name had never entered the What’s Amazing This Week list. She never had access to news about who was hooking up with whom. But she was president of the debate club, which was a big deal because the Nanamoria High School Debate club had won every single inter-school debate in the last five years. She was also head of the girls’ cricket team, and the school captain. Her parents were proud of her. She was proud of herself. In general.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c248" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">She wanted<span id="rmm" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> </span>to kick herself today. When Sia from 12B had coyly sidled up to her as they worked together in the chemistry lab, and asked (in her much-practiced trademark husky whisper) — <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Are you and Kabir seeing each other, Krishna?” — </em>Krishna had felt her face burn. This was a first — the sense that her ears were on fire and her tongue was stuck to her mouth. It didn’t help that she had been daydreaming about Kabir all through the lab class, and Sia’s question had interrupted a particularly detailed fantasy. But maybe she had taken my red face as a sign of anger rather than shame, Krishna hoped, squirming in embarrassment as she remembered.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="b904" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">When Krishna did not look up from her slide, Sia had hurriedly continued. “<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">Look, Kay-Kay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I reeeeeally like Kabir, you know, and I was thinking of telling him how I feel. But I don’t want to do it if you guys are together. A lot of folks in 12A say that you are? That’s why I wanted to ask you before I say anything?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="b5b4" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna had pulled herself together, shrugged and gone back to adjusting the microscope. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Nope, we’re just friends. You should definitely ask him out.”</em> Then, forcing a smile, she had even thrown in a <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“you guys will look super cute together,”</em> hoping it didn’t sound as fake as it felt.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="23e3" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Sia had seemed to believed her. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I know! All my followers say I should date someone with hair as curly as mine. We would look sooooo good together! I cannot wait to add Kabir into my display picture. Everyone will go nuts! Thanks so much, Krishna! You know I was really worried, because you guys are super close, but I guess you’re more like brother and sister. You’ve been friends since first standard, no?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="845c" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">No, we’ve actually been friends longer than that, sighed Krishna as she replayed the conversation in her mind. She looked fixedly out of the bus windows, glad that no one had come to sit next to her. She didn’t want to talk to anyone.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="120a" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna could not remember a time when Kabir had not been a part of her life. He was always there, part of every memory. Their parents had been friends and neighbours before Krishna or Kabir were born, within a few months of each other. Their mothers had bought them matching bags for their first day of pre-school. She smiled as she remembered those bags. Bright red bags with the “KN” monogramed in large yellow letters. Krishna Nagarkar and Kabir Niyazi. They had been best friends their whole lives, talking to each other for hours each day, never running out of things to discuss, ending and starting the day with each other. They often fell asleep chatting with each other, and restarted the conversation as soon as they woke up.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="e923" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Sia was wrong about the other thing too. Krishna did not see Kabir as her brother, especially not over the past year. She had no idea when their friendship had started to change. Was it when he sent her kisses GIF with his goodnight message a few months ago? She had been surprised to feel a strange constriction in her chest in response to that message. No, even before that. Was it when they had collided into each other in the stairwell? He was flushed from playing football, pushing his damp hair away from his eyes. They had swayed in each other’s arms for a moment, trying not to fall, then separated, giggling. She had not been able to concentrate on a word in her class that evening, unable to push Kabir out of her mind.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="68a4" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">She wondered if he knew that she had feelings for him. All their lives he had been able to understand her feelings before anyone else did. When they were in class 9 and she had a secret heartache over Ishan who was with Pari and did not even know that Krishna existed, Kabir had noticed. Could it be that he knew this too? And maybe he liked her back? She had caught him smiling at her in a different sort of way recently. Maybe.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0654" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Should she tell him? What’s the worst that would happen? It wouldn’t spoil their friendship; she was sure of that. If he didn’t feel the same way, he would sweet about it. He always was. It would be horribly awkward for her though. But what if he did like her and was waiting for her to say something? How wonderful would that be! Best friends turning into a couple. Suck on that, Sia.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="1435" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">By the time the bus pulled up in front of her apartment complex, Krishna had worked herself into a fever of excitement. She was going to tell him. Today. Right now. Before she lost this sudden bout of courage. Before Sia asked him (if she hadn’t already).</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="9399" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">It was nearly four PM. Krishna knew that her parents, and Kabir’s, would not be back from work for another three hours at least. His sister would be at college too, with any luck. Kabir had skipped school to work on college application essays and he would be alone at home. She waved hello to the building guard, entered the lift and pressed the seventeenth-floor button. Kabir’s home was on the floor above hers. There must have been hundreds of times when she had gone to his house before going to her own, but today it felt like she was going there for the first time. As she got out of the lift, her knees had a slight tremor, the kind that came just before she got on the stage during a debate. The same mixture of fear and excitement.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="ed5b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Calm down, Krishna, she said to herself. If it does not feel right, you can just ask for his Physics notes and come back. No, I won’t be a chicken, I will tell him how I feel, she resolved. She rang the bell at the door marked Dr N. Niazi.</p><h1 class="ie if fv bb da ig ih ii ij ik il im in io ip iq ir is it iu iv iw ix iy iz ja gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="031e" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 36px; margin: 1.95em 0px -0.28em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Chapter 2: Kabir and Krishna</span></h1><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jf ii jg jh ji im jj jk jl jm jn jo jp jq jr js jt ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="01d8" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 0.86em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Kabir’s face broke into a happy grin when he saw Krishna.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="f9b3" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Dude! When the bell rang, I was like oh god please let be Krishna! I hit submit on MIT just about ten minutes back and my brain feels fried. I thought I would do the crossword to unwind but I absolutely cannot focus! Did you do it today? Did you see the clue for six down? What the hell is it! Are you hungry? Let me see what Auntie has made today. There was some talk of fish curry. Or do you want a milkshake?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="da78" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He had taken her bag as he talked and put it on one of the chairs around the dining table. He was now peering into the fridge. Krishna stood next to him, staring at his profile. Had he always been this good looking? Tall, muscular. Large brown eyes. Curly hair that all the girls wanted to sink their hands into. He was wearing his football shorts with a yellow T shirt. Krishna felt like she wanted to look at his legs for hours. It was strange to think that she had known him forever. She had never been this aware of him.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0ac6" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He turned around. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“We have rice and fish-curry and raita. You hungry?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="8d9c" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna shook her head. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Maybe later,” </em>she said. She sat on the couch and picked up the newspaper. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Six down is ‘jointly’,”</em> she smirked. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I got it in literally one second, Kabi.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="e3d4" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Fine, smartypants. But I was trying to do it after writing a 3000-word essay on my life purpose.” </em>He sat next to her and their legs touched. Krishna’s breath felt stuck in her chest.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="bb5f" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Yeah, that MIT essay was a pain, I agree,”</em> she said with an effort.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="6aca" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Hey, are you okay? You look so weird. Did something happen at school?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="adfa" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">His face was inches from hers. She leaned over and kissed him. She was surprised at herself, but it seemed like it happened on its own, without her thinking about it. Kabir jumped back as though she had hit him.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="b5b9" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Krishna! What are you doing?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0940" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">She searched his face and saw only shock. And fear. Tears came into her eyes. She stood up.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4bda" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I’m sorry. I thought-” </em>She rushed to pick up her bag. All she wanted now was to get to her home.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="afb4" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Krishna, wait!”</em> He called as she walked to the door. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Wait just one minute, please.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="f6ac" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He ran into his room and came back with a notebook in his hand. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I need to show you something. Please don’t go before you’ve seen this. Please?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="be1b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He had opened the notebook and was holding it out to her. It was his diary. He had titled the page<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> </em><span class="jd fw" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: 700;">“Plans for 2018” </span>and underlined it. The rest of the page was a list.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="f283" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span class="jd fw" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: 700;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">1.</em> <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">Start college at MIT</em></span></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="258b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span class="jd fw" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: 700;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">2.</em> <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">Tell K about feelings</em></span></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="fa1c" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span class="jd fw" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: 700;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">3.</em> <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">Drive to the Yosemite</em></span></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="86ae" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">She looked up at him, unable to speak.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0a22" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I like you too. I was going to tell you after I go to college. After we’re both there I mean.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0f0c" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Why?” </em>She asked, angry. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Why are you planning your life like a stupid to-do list? First MIT, then feelings. Such a goody two-shoes. Why?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="8d3e" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He looked away. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Because it’s not safe here,” </em>he said to the fridge.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0649" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">This was unexpected. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Not safe? What does that mean, not safe?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c1c7" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Kabir tugged at his hair and took a deep breath.<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> “Okay I’ll try and explain,” </em>he said. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Can you please come back and sit down? Please? Just try and listen to me for 5 minutes.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4baa" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He took her hand and pulled her to the couch. Krishna felt some of the awkwardness ebbing. This was the two of them, talking the way they always did. Kabir sat next to her on the couch. Then, as though he was uncomfortable by their closeness, he turned around to sit cross legged, facing her. He picked up the newspaper, then put it back. He then picked up his phone and put that back too. Krishna was curious to see this fidgety side of him, curious about whatever he was going to tell her. Underneath the curiosity, she had a glee-filled voice that kept saying – he likes you! Kabir likes you!</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="7dd7" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He took a deep breath. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Can you promise me you won’t roll your eyes? Or judge me? Or think I’m a coward? Or laugh?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="7511" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">She giggled. His discomfort was making her feel better by the minute. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I promise,” </em>she said, counting on her fingers, <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“no eye-rolling, or laughing, or judging. Done.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="34c6" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He looked at her. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Have you read about, umm, “love jihaad”?” </em>He put the phrase in air quotes, and made a face.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="3f7e" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">She raised her eyebrows. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Yes, I have. But – what?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4833" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“If you and I date, people will say it’s love jihaad and we’ll both be unsafe.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5f8d" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Kabi come on! That’s such nonsense.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5cdb" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Really? How many Hindu-Muslim couples do you know, Krishna?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="b459" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I don’t know any. You know that – you and I know the same bunch of people. But that doesn’t mean anything. We live in Saket. Not in a village in Haryana. No one can tell us what to do! Now I know why you asked me not to roll my eyes. Why are you imagining these weird things?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="8592" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Kabir was silent for a moment, looking at his hands. He looked up again, and he looked miserable.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="b6f2" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I’m not imagining it. Last month, Abhinav Bhaiya stopped me after the football match,” he said. </em>Abhinav Chaturvedi was the secretary of the youth club in their residential complex. His father was an MP. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“He asked me if you and I were dating. He said I shouldn’t even think about it. He said he didn’t want to see any love jihad in his neighbourhood.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="e706" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“What the actual fuck? How dare he? Did you tell your father? This is plain and simple bullying, Kabi!”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5f20" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He looked at her steadily, not answering.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="b085" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna’s voice rose. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“What? See, I’m not judging or eye-rolling, but I’m angry. You did not tell me to not get angry. How can he speak to you like that? And why are you listening to him?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="56a6" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">In reply, Kabir leaned over and kissed her.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="bcf6" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">They heard footsteps outside the door and pulled away, afraid that Fiza had returned from college early. The footsteps passed to the house next door. Kabir and Krishna looked at each other and laughed. Her heart was beating so loudly that she was sure Kabir could hear it. But she didn’t feel shy or awkward anymore. They liked each other and nothing else mattered.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="33ba" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Kabir brought her back to earth. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Krishna,”</em> he said taking a deep breath, <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“this is why I said don’t judge me. You know, we live in a bubble and we don’t realise that this religion business is actually a lot closer than we think. Saket is not that different from a village in Haryana. It’s not just Abhinav bhaiya, other people have said things to me too. Although he was the most direct. I feel like things could become difficult for my family. I’ve started to notice so many things. Have you seen that all my cousins have dated and married only Muslims? 90% per cent of Abbu’s patients are Muslims, I can’t believe I’ve only recently realised that. Like there is a massive invisible line between Hindus and Muslims and now that I’ve started to see it, I see it everywhere.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="e3b5" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna was silent. What a day of firsts, she was thinking. First time we kiss, first time we talk about religion.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4084" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Kabir continued to speak gently. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Krishna, I like you a lot. I’ve had feelings for you forever. Even when you liked Ishan, even when you were with Rohan. I’ve never liked anyone else.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="89f5" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna wanted to dance. She kissed him again. He pulled away.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="991a" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“No, let me finish. This is very difficult to say. We can’t see each other – like that – while we’re in India. In a few months’ time, unless we’re very unlucky, we will be in the US. That’s when we can be together. I’m sorry if this sounds crazy, but that’s how it has to be.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0f11" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">They talked for hours. It was the first time that Krishna was not able to change Kabir’s mind.</p><h1 class="ie if fv bb da ig ih ii ij ik il im in io ip iq ir is it iu iv iw ix iy iz ja gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="403b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 36px; margin: 1.95em 0px -0.28em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Chapter 3: Dr and Mrs Nagarkar</span></h1><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jf ii jg jh ji im jj jk jl jm jn jo jp jq jr js jt ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="ec6f" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 0.86em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">When Krishna unlocked the door and saw that her father was home already. He had been playing a game but he put his ipad aside when he saw her.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="9320" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Hello, baby Kiki!” </em>He smiled and opened his arms for a hug. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I was so sad when I came home early and you weren’t here yet. Then I saw your phone location and figured you must be studying at Kabir’s. I was going to give you ten more minutes and then come up looking for you. So glad you saved me the trip.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c0ec" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna had been putting away her shoes and bag. Now she turned around and he saw her face.<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> “What happened, bacche? Rough day?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cc50" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna walked into her father’s arms and cried the all tears that she had been holding back for the past hour. The day had been a rollercoaster of emotions for her, and it felt good to let it all out. Her father held her close, one arm around her shoulder, the other cradling her head.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="2daf" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Dr Naresh Nagarkar was a very anxious man who had learned to hide his fears around his children. He felt terrified right now, imagining one horrible scenario after another, forcing himself to stay calm, reminding himself that teenage lives are filled with dramas that can seem overwhelming, but are often manageable. It’s probably nothing, he said to his heart, over and over.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="012b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He let her cry. When the sobs finally ended in a noisy sniff, Naresh put a smile in his voice and said, <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I made you mango milkshake. Want some?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="18a0" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna pulled away from his chest and nodded. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Excellent, and do you want to go settle down in your room? I’ll bring you the milkshake and then we’ll talk about this. How’s that?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="d732" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna nodded again. She was feeling better. Her father would fix this. He was the nicest, smartest man in the world. He would tell Kabir to stop getting frightened by silly things, and he would speak to Abhinav Bhaiya too.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="1a2a" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">So it was hard for her to believe her ears, when, having listened to her quietly, he said in a sad voice, <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I’m sorry Kiki, but Kabir is right. Things are crazy right now. Riots happening at the drop of a hat. It’s best to not provoke people.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="705d" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna looked back at him, dumbfounded. She felt like her world had turned upside down. Her parents talked constantly about freedom and rationality. They never said random things about rules and “shoulds” like other parents did. Why was her father talking like this?</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="05cd" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I know this is hard for you, baccha,”</em> Naresh continued. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“We’ve protected you from a lot of political stuff because it seems so pointless. But I also don’t want you to be naïve and be blind to the realities of the world we live in. It’s not a village-city thing. The most educated people talk about “us” vs “them”, and there’s a lot of anger on both sides. You cannot date Kabir while you live in India. I’m sorry.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="2ad2" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna continued to be silent. Naresh, worried he had been too grim, tried to speak lightly. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“But hey, can we focus on the fact that my baby is in love? I’m going to pour myself some single malt and celebrate. Sadly, you can’t join me, because we’ve promised dadi we’ll wait until you’re eighteen. Hey, is this the first time? No wait, there was that boy Rohan for a few weeks, although that never made you cry. Hey, did you guys kiss? Okay, okay don’t tell me if you don’t want to. He’s a good boy. I’m happy you guys like each other. It’s just a few more months, sweetie. Don’t worry about anything. Even if MIT doesn’t come through, we’ll figure out a way to get you to the US. I promise you that. Okay?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="dc3e" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Okay, Pa. Thank you, I guess.”</em> Krishna said. She was so tired. She did not want to talk any more. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I still don’t get it, but I can’t think about it anymore. I’m going to sleep. I’ll wake up early and study.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c782" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Alright,”</em> said her father, patting her cheek<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">. “We can talk about this again tomorrow.” </em>He turned around at the door and looked at her.<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> “I’m always on your side, you know that right? Excellent. Sleep well, darling”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4e88" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna did not sleep well. She woke up a few hours later and saw that it was 11 PM. She heard voices from the living room. Her father had said her name, and that must have been what woke her up. She crept out of bed, careful to not make any noises.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="2806" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">The balcony in her bedroom was connected with the balcony in the living room. Her parents did not know this, but there was a spot right next to the big jasmine pot where she could sit quietly and listen to conversations in the living room. She had done this many times. She had learned many amusing things about her parents and their friends through these Friday night eavesdropping escapades.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c440" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">The balcony was in darkness. She inched closer to the living room until she could look into a part of the room. She could hear voices very clearly now. She saw her mother sitting on the couch, with one hand hugging her knees, and other hand on her forehead. A wine glass stood on the table next to her, half empty.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="f402" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“This is terrible,” </em>Krishna heard her mother say. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“But I suppose we should have been prepared for it. I kept wishing that their friendship would either fizzle out or settle into a brother sister bond kind of thing. Ugh! What did you say?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="754c" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“What could I say? I just said it was a good idea to not do anything until they are both able to leave the country. And I told her we’ll always be on her side, no matter what.” </em>Her father’s voice was low. Krishna could not see his face from where she sat but she could see his arm around her mother’s shoulders.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="657b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Her mother sighed a large audible sigh. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Yeah, that was probably the best thing you could say. With any luck, it’s just a crush, and she’ll meet someone else at college.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="ed4b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Well….I mean, he’s a nice boy. He’s ambitious, he’s sensible. Isn’t it nice that he decided that they should not see each other?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c928" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“No, I agree, that was a nice thing to do, I’ll give him that. He’s a good person. But I don’t want her to be with him. God, no”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="d480" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Her father laughed.<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> “Really? What if she meets and falls for a hippie in the US? Any random person vs Kabir Niazi? What’s your choice then, Dr. Nandini Nagarkar? Think carefully.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cc26" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Nandini did not need to think. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I will take my chances on a random person. As long as it’s not another Muslim.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="a6b8" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Hmmm…” </em>Naresh’s non-committal response seemed to irritate Krishna’s mother.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="8a16" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“What, Naresh? Don’t you agree with me? Do you really want our baby to marry into those people? They’re different people yar. You know how they oppress their women? We’ve brought her up to be so strong and independent. What was the point of all that if she goes into a family that will shut her inside a house?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="71df" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Arey, arey, arey! Nandini, breathe! Wait, let me refill your glass. First, she’s 17, she’s talking about dating only, why jump into marriage and all? And second, well, Mrs Niazi does not seem oppressed, does she? Their daughter is even more outgoing than our Kiki. They don’t look like they can shut anyone anywhere.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cb86" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“You’re just basing your opinion on what you see. What do we know about their family? Their extended relatives?” </em>Nandini asked harshly.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="89a6" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“What do we know about anyone’s extended family?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="1d7c" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Okay, Naresh, I don’t have energy for this. I spent seven hours in the OT today. You’re trying to be all modern liberated Indian, and I cannot get into a political debate at midnight. You just answer one question — are you okay with Kiki marrying a Muslim? I know she’s only seventeen, and this is a purely hypothetical question. But answer it anyway. Are you okay with your daughter marrying a Muslim? Just give me a yes or no.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="23ea" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“No,”</em> her father said.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="e111" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna did not want to listen anymore. She crept quietly towards her bedroom, and got into bed. She felt like she was Coraline. The two people who had been her closest friends had disappeared. And had been replaced by these two new people that she could hear in the living room — they were still talking. She felt frightened and lonely.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="aeaf" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Her phone vibrated and her heart leapt in hope. There were about half a dozen exceptions to her no-notifications-after-ten-PM-setting, and she wanted it so badly to be a message from Kabir. It was.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5b25" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Kish. You awake? I’m sorry.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="bbc3" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I’m awake. What are you sorry for?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="26bd" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Because I was being a complete idiot and a coward. I don’t want to wait until we go to the US. Can I see you tomorrow?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="8539" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Yes. Want to go play tennis in the morning? We can go to CP after that.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="2056" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna felt a warm glow of happiness in her body. She was already thinking about about what dress to pack for changing into after tennis. They had made plans like this dozens of times, on dozens of Friday nights. She had never thought about her clothes with this intensity.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="996c" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Kabir replied instantly. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Can’t. It’s Eid tomorrow. Family trip to the mosque. Back by ten. Ammi-Abbu and Fiza will go to Nani’s house for lunch, I’ll come back home. I told them I need to work on my essay. Didn’t tell them I’ve already submitted it.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5260" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Oooh. Clever. #chalu”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="0ad8" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“So you’ll come home? 10 AM? Please?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="c2c9" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Yes. I’ll come.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="76ec" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I’ll ping you when I get into the metro.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="8a2f" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Okay.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5056" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Kish?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="008e" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Yes?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="6676" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I love you.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="d48a" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">This is interesting, Krishna thought as she put her phone away and closed her eyes. My chest hurts when I feel happy.</p><h1 class="ie if fv bb da ig ih ii ij ik il im in io ip iq ir is it iu iv iw ix iy iz ja gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="961f" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 36px; margin: 1.95em 0px -0.28em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Chapter 4: Waking up</span></h1><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jf ii jg jh ji im jj jk jl jm jn jo jp jq jr js jt ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="43f3" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 0.86em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">She saw the ambulance before she saw the police car. They were both blocking the entrance to the building compound and a minor traffic jam had resulted. Krishna got down from her bicycle and wheeled it in between honking cars until she reached her building gate. A policeman stopped her.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="a283" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“No outsiders allowed, madam.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="8159" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“I live in this building, sir. What happened?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="d3a8" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He did not answer her question. Opening his notepad, he asked, “<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">Which floor? What’s your name?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="05ed" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Krishna Nagarkar. Sixteenth floor. Flat number 16-D. What happened?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="3e0e" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">He hailed a colleague. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Priyanka madam! This girl is on the 16th floor. Can you take her please?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5dbe" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">As a woman police constable walked towards them, he said, <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“One request, madam?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="d580" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Yes?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="2baf" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“We can’t stop you from doing anything. Apka fundamental right hai. But I request you to not talk to any press people until we have backup. Right now we’re only four police staff here and if a big crowd comes, it will be very difficult for us to manage. Give us about one hour to get manpower, okay?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="e4d6" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna nodded slowly, feeling bewildered. She had an increasing sense of being in a frightening dream. The woman constable’s name, she read, was Priyanka Khanna. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Come madam, I will drop you to your floor,” </em>she said.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="1f85" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">They walked together. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Ms Khanna, please can you tell me what’s going on? I’m really scared. Did something happen in the building?” </em>Krishna asked.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="3cf0" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">The constable was as reticent as her colleague. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“No need to be scared madam. Nothing happened in your building. But something can happen, and we’re just taking precautions.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5aaa" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna put her bicycle on chain and quickly took her phone out. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“News- Saket”</em> she typed with shaking fingers. The page loaded with recent news of municipal elections.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="2eea" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Madam!” </em>The constable was waiting for her in front of open elevator doors. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Chalo!”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="5a67" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna walked towards her and typed further. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Saket Mountview complex-police”</em>. The elevator doors closed before the search results could load.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4377" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Ms Khanna, please tell me. Hua kya hai?”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="7291" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">The constable looked at her silently as the lift climbed upwards. Then she looked away and said. <em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“Hua ye hai madam ke is desh ka hindu khatre mein aa a gaya hai. Bas yahi hua hai.”</em></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="001a" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">The elevator stopped, the doors opened and Krishna stepped out. The door to her apartment was open and her father was standing at the door. There were tears on his face.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4c4c" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">“She’s here!”</em> he shouted and walked towards her.<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> “Oh, thank God!” </em>said her mother’s voice from inside the house.</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="4601" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna’s feet were frozen. Behind her, the constable’s voice spoke to her father as the elevator doors closed.<em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;"> “Saab, please stay on your floor,” </em>she said. Her father nodded. There was snot on his face. Why was he crying so much?</p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="332b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;">Krishna looked at her phone to see if there was any news that would make sense of the madness. There was.</p><h1 class="ie if fv bb da ig ih ii ij ik il im in io ip iq ir is it iu iv iw ix iy iz ja gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="48db" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 36px; margin: 1.95em 0px -0.28em;"><span style="font-size: small;">Delhi Chronicle</span></h1><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jf ii jg jh ji im jj jk jl jm jn jo jp jq jr js jt ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="6add" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 0.86em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><span class="jd fw" style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: 700;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">17-year-old Muslim boy killed in Delhi Metro.</em></span></p><p class="jb jc fv jd b je jx ii jg jh jy im jj jk jz jm jn jo ka jq jr js kb ju jv jw dn gs" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="7a24" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #292929; font-family: charter, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif; letter-spacing: -0.003em; line-height: 32px; margin: 2em 0px -0.46em; word-break: break-word;"><em class="kc" style="box-sizing: inherit;">Kabir Niazi, a 17-year-old boy was killed in a scuffle in the Delhi metro in the early hours of the morning. The assailants, Pinku Sharma (28), Manu Yadav (21) and Jitendra Kumar (19), have been apprehended. The victim and his his father, Dr Nasir Niazi (51) were going to Jama Masjid for Eid prayers and were dressed in traditional clothes. According to eyewitnesses, the attackers told father and son to take off their caps, and when ignored, forcibly removed their caps. Upon this, the victim pushed one of the attackers, leading to a brawl that ended with the victim sustaining a head injury. Passengers caught the attackers and called the police at Green Park station. The victim was taken to the Max General Hospital where he was declared dead on arrival. The victim’s mother and sister were traveling in the ladies’ compartment and were unhurt. Dr Niazi is a leading orthopedic surgeon at Josh Hospital and a resident of Saket Mountview Complex.</em></p><p><br /></p>Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-4368630332031577042019-09-23T14:23:00.002+05:302019-09-23T14:23:25.728+05:30The fourth personThere’s a fourth person in this house. He’s invisible.<br />But he’s more real than the three visible people<br />He’s tougher too. Tougher than the three of them put together<br />It’s three against one, and every day is a battle<br />He wins every single day. His name is Despair.<br /><br />He feeds on the three people, and on each sign of surrender<br />The confused ramblings of the 90-year-old with dementia<br />The unseeing eyes of the 75-year-old pretending to read the newspaper<br />The sighs of the 60-year-old who cares for the other two and lies all the time, even to herself. <i>Are you okay? Yes! Are you lonely? No!</i><br /><br />He feeds on it all. And grows stronger.<br /><br />He loves it when visitors come to the house. Sunshine, friends, children<br />They feel his invisible slimy arms and run away<br />I feel him in the heaviness of my limbs. He gets into my head and says, <i>“what is the point of anything, huh? This is what it is, see?”</i><br /><br /><div>
He’s winning.</div>
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Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-67414809948372178722019-05-06T15:58:00.002+05:302019-05-22T19:24:41.882+05:30India's healthcare system - a story over infographics<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">There are two
kinds of people who work in public health. I think of them as the </span><i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; text-align: justify;">“Market-Facing Types”</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;"> and the </span><i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; text-align: justify;">“System-Lens Types”</i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">. The first kind believes
that answers to the toughest </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">global health </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">challenges will only be found through
market-based solutions. Solutions that include strategic pricing, supply-chain efficiencies, increased access to bottom of pyramid (BoP) markets, economies
of scale and profitable private investments. The second
lot believes that responsibility for healthcare provision lies squarely with
elected governments and public systems, which admittedly are flawed and fragile;
building and strengthening these systems is the only long-term, patient-centric and just solution to healthcare challenges. In the long-term, we’ll probably
find that the two perspectives need to co-exist, work together and hold each
other accountable, but for now, as in other conflicts, each side shakes its head at the other, calling it “naïve”, “narrow”, etc. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Eight years ago,
I started my career in public health bang in the middle of the market-facing lot
and was, for the longest time, unable to see beyond that particular point of view. I’ve found myself creeping towards the middle recently though. Maybe it comes from spending time with friends who work in places where markets seem like distant
realities, places where people live with zero access to formal healthcare,
places where an easily treatable illness can easily be the cause of death and
debt. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I began 2019
with a goal to better understand healthcare systems. I have an excellent
learning ground too – I live in India, home to the largest pool of healthcare
needs, and perhaps the most complex health infrastructure in the world. In this
article, I plan to summarise my big picture understanding of India’s healthcare
system, under four heads:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What are the major events in India’s healthcare system evolution? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What does the healthcare infrastructure in the country look like? As in, how is the healthcare delivered?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What are the governance mechanisms? In other words, where will the innovation and change come from?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What are the big healthcare issues to think about? </span></li>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Here goes, #1: Evolution and timeline:</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZqckbCO1WvZDJ-tmo8UxaZbY1A7THLjUjP8VBD-dwutPURIq6QTHRWgQCwLcB2_U4vppsD12XNas4weJltOH5d4FicpG5Ji0iCAWbB33WtdjEAubm3XSl4px-T4XivpYuRGr8epH15hhX/s1600/Infographic%25231_medium.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="983" data-original-width="720" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZqckbCO1WvZDJ-tmo8UxaZbY1A7THLjUjP8VBD-dwutPURIq6QTHRWgQCwLcB2_U4vppsD12XNas4weJltOH5d4FicpG5Ji0iCAWbB33WtdjEAubm3XSl4px-T4XivpYuRGr8epH15hhX/s1600/Infographic%25231_medium.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Infographic #1: Timeline</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">These are only the events that interest me the most, so I admit there are some important ones that I’m
missing out. My work has been primarily in infectious diseases, specifically TB and HIV, so events relevant to these are what jump out at me. It is absolutely fascinating to me - </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">that a report submitted in <b><i>1946 </i></b>continues to be the basis of not only current health structures, but also ongoing policy discussions,</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">that we started to talk about the need to engage with the private sector only in 2002,</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">that 19 years after the government launched the pulse polio program, India was officially declared polio-free. This gives me hope for TB eradication. But not too much - the plan was to eliminate kala-azar and filariasis by 2017 and leprosy by 2018 (spoiler alert: we didn't) </span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.manjotkaur.com/2019/05/indias-healthcare-delivery.html" target="_blank"><b><span lang="EN-IN">Part 2: </span><span lang="EN-IN" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">What does the healthcare infrastructure in the country look like?</span></b></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Part 3: What are the governance mechanisms in healthcare? Who does what?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Part 4: What are the biggest issues in healthcare?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<br />Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-9393879812572201172019-04-30T17:18:00.001+05:302019-05-14T15:19:13.119+05:30The Terror of the Bridge Course<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIWFKaCbJ6HKQfM2sclHUxl91KGv86vsdTlZJDEwTWW4J0k_jstlI9BVwVboY3PIYyzsVG8gsYHlhB50aoSAoorosau4QF9EQSyZnYrNoX0OLrwOKGwzjMifNK2Pot9NgfGg2FbhzZf0L9/s1600/bridge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIWFKaCbJ6HKQfM2sclHUxl91KGv86vsdTlZJDEwTWW4J0k_jstlI9BVwVboY3PIYyzsVG8gsYHlhB50aoSAoorosau4QF9EQSyZnYrNoX0OLrwOKGwzjMifNK2Pot9NgfGg2FbhzZf0L9/s200/bridge.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">“Bridge Courses” for care providers continue to sit squarely on the divisive lines among Indian healthcare experts. One side sees it as the path-breaking innovation that access denied communities desperately need, the glue that will fix our broken healthcare system, the one ring to bind us all in a smooth patient care pathway of quality primary care, efficient referral networks and focused secondary and tertiary care systems. The other side, equally passionate, is convinced that it will lead to large-scale malpractice, patient mismanagement and exploitation. I’m interested in examining this burning issue, and there are three questions I’d like to explore: </span></div>
<ol>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What is a bridge course, and why does the government of India keep proposing it?</span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Why do my doctor friends dislike it so much?</span></span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Could there be redemption for this “innovation” after all?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
</span></span></li>
</ol>
<b style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">What is a bridge course?</span></b><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Everyone knows this, but let’s say it again anyway – India has a shortage of qualified doctors. Bridge courses have often been mentioned among GOI's approaches to address the issue. In early 2017, the national medical council (NMC) proposed to build a mid-level cadre of healthcare workers by providing a six-month long “bridge course” to a variety of non-MBBS personnel who are part of India’s healthcare universe: AYUSH providers, nursing cadres, pharmacists and others, including informal providers (some state governments call such informal providers UMPs or unregistered medical practitioners, a far better term than “quacks”, which brings in unnecessary derision and makes the debate shallow). Post-training, these “bridged course trained providers” - let’s call them BPs - would be given conditional licenses to provide primary care and referral services in underserved areas. Anecdotal evidence indicates that a large proportion of the country's healthcare - primary care as well as emergency services - is already managed by UMPs. Bridge courses have the potential to make the system formal, accountable and transparent. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Why is the formal medical community so repulsed by the bridge course? </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">About 5 minutes after the NMC submitted the bill to parliament, Indian medical association (IMA) and other physician groups erupted in passionate protests to get the bridge course proposal scrapped. Their key argument was that patient care will deteriorate under a system where healthcare delivery is provided by non-MBBS personnel. How can someone trained over six-months provide care comparable to an MBBS doctor with five plus years of training? My knee jerk response was that less-than-perfect-care ought to be better than the no-care which is the current state of affairs in areas where BPs would serve, but I dug deeper to better understand my doctor friends’ reasons for resistance:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<ul><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
<li><i>It will be an implementation nightmare: </i>It will be nearly impossible to ensure training quality, the UMPs will provide low quality care, keep managing cases beyond their skill set, either not refer patients to qualified secondary care at all, or only refer them when it is too late. </li>
</span></span>
<li><i>The UMPs will encroach on the qualified doctors’ work:</i> Even though BPs are meant to provide services in underserved rural and urban areas, financial incentives might drive them to migrate to overcrowded urban areas. Hospitals, whose profits are under pressure now more than ever, may to prefer to save costs by hiring these providers rather than formal medical doctors. Urban patients, who have the tendency to "doctor-shop", may prefer to walk in into clinics run by these BPs for cheaper care.</li>
<li><i>These courses are a threat and disrespect to the medical profession: </i>BPs may indeed solve some of the doctor shortage issue, but this may reduce government inclination to build new medical colleges or to improve the medical education infrastructure. Also, if such ‘short-cuts’ to education are available, why would young people invest their decades of their lives in pursuing medical education? As my articulate friend Dr. Sonal Verma puts it - <i>"I favor fixing our broken roads rather than building yet another weak bridge". </i></li>
</span></span></ul>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It would be simplistic to dismiss some of these issues as being doctor-centric rather than patient-centric. Healthcare system strengthening plans need to be firmly entrenched within these realities of the medical profession in India. The protests worked, and b</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">ridge courses were removed from the NMC bill in 2018. GOI instructed states to take their own decisions on training programs for lay providers. IMA seems to have won the battle, but war is far from over, and i</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">t might be premature to throw the idea into the “absolutely irrelevant” pile just yet.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ministry of Health and Family Welfare (MOHFW) has now (in April 2019) proposed a bridge course to train dentists to practice as MBBS physicians. This has led to a fresh round of protests.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span></span><br /></span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Is there room for redemption?</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Bridge courses might be inspired by what WHO calls “task shifting” - a process of delegation where appropriate tasks are moved from highly specialized to less specialized health workers. Task shifting has been implemented widely to address care delivery gaps in multiple areas, from HIV care to cardiovascular triage. Although recognized as a method to increase efficiency in healthcare, success rates vary across case studies and depend on a lot of related factors. Here’s my list, admittedly far from complete, of elements that need to be brought in before bridge courses become a part of India’s healthcare system:</span></div>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Stringently developed, expertly delivered course content, with local customization as necessary </span></span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Accountability not only in course content delivery but also in service delivery</span></span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Transparent referral networks based on digital tools that work</span></span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Incentive structures rooted in local social and cultural realities </span></span></li>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Advocacy and behavior change (of all stakeholders including doctors, patients, other healthcare providers as well as communities) driven by evidence rather than rh<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">etoric</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Whether these bridges get built or burnt down will remain uncertain for now given the political landscape. It is important to note that the bridge course debate is central to the issue of healthcare access in India, and is relevant to other key questions: Is increasing the number of seats in medical colleges an efficient solution to doctor shortage? As more and more physicians prefer to get trained in specialized fields and immigrate to practice in the developed world or in tier 1 cities, who's responsible for primary care, especially in small towns and rural areas?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Given the limited evidence, the debate continues to be based on conjecture and expert opinion. Operational research, perhaps at subnational levels, would add valuable data to the conversation. It would great to see experimental models to measure the community health impact of a trained cadre of lay workers in selected districts or states. </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The experiments will neither be easy nor straightforward, but then game-changers seldom are.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirWckRDgwwkk6ZTrfSrvOY13VkOEaUkloXYQz5N3URulKHhCHjy92cMd3gCW3oFc9rRn8lM1a4jAAC94CPXszBzifI8FSrBAJ4BHCAlfdSfrT8pplKmQQTVqLaurAxAzFo7erGFuD13ijO/s1600/IMG_20190207_133932.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirWckRDgwwkk6ZTrfSrvOY13VkOEaUkloXYQz5N3URulKHhCHjy92cMd3gCW3oFc9rRn8lM1a4jAAC94CPXszBzifI8FSrBAJ4BHCAlfdSfrT8pplKmQQTVqLaurAxAzFo7erGFuD13ijO/s640/IMG_20190207_133932.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px; text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">Additional PHC (APHC) in eastern Bihar. The MBBS doctor assigned to the clinic lives in Patna. The rooms are filled with animal poop. For their healthcare needs, people in this village either call in the local informal providers, or walk to the nearest city, 10 km away, which has a PHC and private clinics. A bridge course trained provider might be useful for the villagers being "served" by this APHC [Image source: author]</span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span>Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-48487502694939527352019-03-04T14:14:00.002+05:302019-05-02T10:25:59.330+05:30Trekking over the Langtang trail over 5 days <b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Dates of our trek:</b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> 26 May to 1 June, 2018 (near perfect weather)</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiupX_orHEXJ-8uSxUVz5pK-v9Q4KcjzjlEQzgEIYE0tVDI6pbB7MFUqCIM5lK3r2oWE3GLv6jjmddWjVht-RGooCSHbQ44sHH-I9AuA2aeGvERjKYPFSgqXYxrHoQQm4LVtRnNuyIltA4b/s1600/IMG_20180528_133807.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiupX_orHEXJ-8uSxUVz5pK-v9Q4KcjzjlEQzgEIYE0tVDI6pbB7MFUqCIM5lK3r2oWE3GLv6jjmddWjVht-RGooCSHbQ44sHH-I9AuA2aeGvERjKYPFSgqXYxrHoQQm4LVtRnNuyIltA4b/s400/IMG_20180528_133807.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Day 3: Langtang village to Kyanjin Gompa</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Difficulty level: </b>I'm classifying this trail as a "special moderate". Easy because it's only 5 days long - 3 days uphill followed by 2 days downhill - and because like other “tea house trails”, it has comfortable, almost luxurious places to rest your weary bones every night. But it is difficult too because it has a few patches of starkly steep climbs. One of my favourite memories from the week is Rigveda craning her neck up to see the tea-house I was pointing at, the place where we were going to take our third and last break for the day. She stared at it for five seconds in silence, and then said - "let's not kid ourselves, Manjot, there's no way either of us is going to make it up there" (her exact words were, <i>"dekho Manjot, ye hoga nai hum dono se, main bata rahi hoon". </i>And this was the first day of our trek - things got much, much worse before they got better.<br /><br /><b>Why Langtang? </b></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Now that I am done talking about the painful part of the trek (I make no promises, it may come up again), I can list the joys </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">- breathing the pure mountain air scented with a thousand unknown herbs, walking with your thoughts against a backdrop of birdsong and riversong, having your eyes fill up with more shades of green than you thought were possible, connecting with people and your self in ways that are just not possible in places that are not the Himalayas - we all know these elusive joys which </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">call us to the mountains again and again. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We chose the trek also because its duration was perfect. I needed to take only a week's leave and sandwiching it between two weekends covered two travel days and one recovery day. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And as many bloggers informed us, traveling through this part of Nepal is an opportunity to contribute to the rebuilding that is still going on after the devastating 2015 earthquake. </span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Planning the trek: </b>Rigs and I planned the trek for 6 months, but that's just us. We had a shared folder with packing lists, iterating itineraries, trek company quotes, best dates, debates on whether to do it alone or with guide or with guide and porter both. Contrary to some blogs that we read who strongly urge you to do the trail alone, we recommend taking a guide even if you're a reasonably experienced hiker, and even though the path is fairly well-marked. There are some confusing forks on which you might not get hopelessly lost - all paths eventually get to the main trail (haha this could be a deep insight) - but you might end up spending a lot of time on a longer, less picturesque route that tires you out. A guide will give you an anxiety-free mind space to focus on your self and the beauty around you, educate you about local culture, tell stories and if you're lucky, even become your friend. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Our itinerary: </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Three days uphill - Syafrubesi > Lama > Langtang > Kyanjin Gompa</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Two days down hill - </i></span><i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Kyanjin Gompa > </i><i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Langtang > Syafrubesi</i><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The actual trek is only 5 days, but our trip was 9 days inclusive of days to travel to and from the trail. </span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Day 0: Arrive in Kathmandu. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Friday, 25 May - We stayed at the Oasis hotel, which was nice and comfortable, and located in Thamel, which is downtown Kathmandu, and which is where everything is.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Day 1: Travel by road from Kathmandu (1400 m) to Syafrubesi (2100 m)</b></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Saturday, 26 May - </i>Not the most comfortable road trip, no matter how optimistic I try to be. But the views were lovely. We took the jeep on the way up, bus on the way down (day 7), but neither is for the fainthearted. We stayed at the Noryang guest house, which was lovely. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Day 2/Trek day 1: Trek from Syafrubesi to Lama Hotel (2400 m) - about 7 hours of walking.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sunday, 27 May - Breakfast at Noryang was lavish and delicious and w</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">e started our trail at 7.30 AM in a fairly lighthearted way, oblivious to the steep horrors awaiting us this day. The trail to Lama is a gentle forest walk through marijuana (yes) fields but does have a few extreme slopes. The river was a noisy walking buddy throughout this first day. There are four guest houses on the way that one can stop and rest at. We stopped for lunch at the Bamboo hut tea at the Tom and Jerry guest house. Both were lovely and we took fairly long breaks, which meant that it was nearly 5 PM by the time we arrived at </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Lama hotel, where </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">- I'm not joking - found solar-powered hot showers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0kiA03C8aawOPyszQb4seTyahMk9fuvibKBKcul6Cl_ZkO6jo4y4QvmXLGdiObwqkyr6gsTFNvKFq-sOHBFz4srHtMx1OVgN0jA7tDJ5LYlljfg3typ7QTDOc-c5k9W5BY2lhJy3Uf1Cs/s1600/IMG_20180527_165439.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0kiA03C8aawOPyszQb4seTyahMk9fuvibKBKcul6Cl_ZkO6jo4y4QvmXLGdiObwqkyr6gsTFNvKFq-sOHBFz4srHtMx1OVgN0jA7tDJ5LYlljfg3typ7QTDOc-c5k9W5BY2lhJy3Uf1Cs/s400/IMG_20180527_165439.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Happiness is finding a hot shower behind a green door </i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">Day 3: Lama hotel to Langtang (3400 m) - about 6 hours of walking. </b></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Monday, 28 May - I was woken up by a bird singing and thought, man, how predictable is that? As it happens so often in the mountains, I had a sudden flash of insight. That there are three big reasons why I like hiking through the Himalayas. One, life just becomes so incredibly simple - sadness is a blister on your toe, happiness is the sight of a flat walk after a mad uphill climb. Two, food is a million times more delicious. Literally everything you eat feels like poetry in food. Three, my eyes love the high def views - the stark yellows and reds in the flowers, the stark greens in the trees, the skies so perfectly blue (except when it rains when the skies become an equally perfect, high definition grey). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We left Lama hotel soon after 8 AM, walked through villages with pretty names - Riverside, Ghodatabela, Thansyab, Gumba - and arrived at Langtang by 3 PM. Although this is probably the most significant height gain of this trail, it felt gradual and easy, perhaps also because we had toughened up. We stayed at the Glacier guest house, run by a lovely man named Tshering Dorje. I strongly recommend the place. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Day 4: Langtang to Kyanjin Gompa (4000 m) - about 4 hours of walking. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Tuesday, 29 May - This is perhaps the easiest hike of this trail, with very gentle slopes. You know you're getting close to the tree line - trees start to get fewer and shorter. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This is the day we crossed the villages that got the worst of the 2015 earthquake. It was a sobering hour as we walked through the rubble. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We arrived at Kyanjin Gompa just before 3 PM. This hamlet has a at least a dozen guest houses and they all look comfortable. We stayed at the Nayakhanga guest house which maybe has the best views in the village. It may or may not be Nayakhanga's fault that I <a href="https://www.manjotkaur.com/2019/02/at-nayakhanga-day-4-of-langtang-trail.html" target="_blank"><b>got carried away and wrote a poem</b></a> here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Day 5: Kyanjin Gompa to Lama hotel</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Wednesday, 30 May - The climb down in this stretch is easier than the climb up, and views are as lovely. It was fun to say hello again to the tea houses we had stopped at two days previously. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Day 6: Lama hotel to Syafrubesi</b></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Thursday, 31 May - Spoke too soon, this downhill walk nearly succeeded in murdering all of my toes. It was such joy to get back to our dear old Syafrubesi, which as it turned out, has a natural hot spring where you can soak your feet and coax them back to life. </span></div>
<div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbt-Kuxz0nvtYrXsFNrVDIsf9Zl1Nglz2bS2R11w1wAdJl0So-sgzWk328gDkt9u3azMb6y0jcfYMYO-27i9c9JqPe3r9i4BxPXm3whoVtUGa4i7pFzCiUWyAv_U2ysxhiXONPreDc0q3R/s1600/IMG_20180528_082414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><i><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbt-Kuxz0nvtYrXsFNrVDIsf9Zl1Nglz2bS2R11w1wAdJl0So-sgzWk328gDkt9u3azMb6y0jcfYMYO-27i9c9JqPe3r9i4BxPXm3whoVtUGa4i7pFzCiUWyAv_U2ysxhiXONPreDc0q3R/s400/IMG_20180528_082414.jpg" width="300" /></i></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;"><i>Sometime on day 5</i><br />
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<i><br /></i></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Day 7: Bus ride from Syafrubesi to Kathmandu</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Friday, 01 June - </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I spent the seven hours alternating between napping and saying "wow, how pretty is that mountain!"</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Day 8: Recovering and exploring Thamel </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Saturday, 02 June - I have two highlights from this day of recovery at Kathmandu. One, the hotel we chose this time, the <a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/Nepal+Cottage+Resort+-+3+Star+Hotel/@27.7141708,85.3109149,16.31z/data=!4m13!1m7!3m6!1s0x39eb198a307baabf:0xb5137c1bf18db1ea!2sKathmandu+44600,+Nepal!3b1!8m2!3d27.7172453!4d85.3239605!3m4!1s0x0:0xf4fa3521c3fdbce5!8m2!3d27.7150753!4d85.3078374" target="_blank"><b>Nepal Cottage Resort</b></a>, felt like absolute luxury with the unlimited hot water and warm beds. It also has a beautiful garden. Two, we watched a fabulous Nepali band perform at the <a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/Purple+Haze+Rock+Bar/@27.7147936,85.3083373,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x39eb18fce452e207:0x70be89a8c5e4fce3!8m2!3d27.7147936!4d85.310526" target="_blank"><b>Purple Haze rock bar</b></a>. I want to come back in live in Thamel for a week sometime, walking and eating and listening to music. In spite of the dust clouds. About that, Kathmandu - what is it with being global #5 in the most polluted cities in the world?! </span><br />
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<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Day 9: Flight back home</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sunday, 03 June - My journal entry from this morning says: "So when can I go next to the Himalayas?"</span></div>
<br /></div>
Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-13948529747646874232019-02-27T15:13:00.003+05:302019-05-02T10:30:23.122+05:30Twelve days in Japan - Tokyo, Kyoto and Osaka<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This winter, four of us - my brother, his wife, Prashanth and I -
traveled to Japan for a two-week vacation. This was our second vacation
together (the first was Germany in winter 2017). These two folks live in Sydney
and naturally want to escape the December weather. And somehow, they've managed
to sweet-talk me and Prashanth, both lovers of tropical weather, twice, into
these super wintry holidays. We travel well together though - we're all an
equal-ish mix of curiosity, laziness and affability.</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
If anyone tells you that a vacation to Japan is going to be unlike anything
you’ve done before, believe them. We got back 8 weeks ago and we find ourselves
constantly looking for Japanese food and culture in Bombay, like recovering
junkies looking for the next fix. Short summary - yes it blew our minds, yes it
was cold, no there were no cherry blossoms, yes the highlight of our trip was
indeed the food, and yes we're dying to go again. In no particular order,
here’s a list of things I loved in each city.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
<b>TOKYO</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">We stayed in two rather different neighborhoods over the 5 days that we were in
Tokyo. Shinjuku north is the mad vibrant sort of place that I imagined all of
Japan to be, so I’m glad we saw this before seeing other, slower but equally
powerful places. The second neighbourhood we experienced was the Asakusa where
we stayed at the </span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/%E3%82%B2%E3%82%B9%E3%83%88%E3%83%8F%E3%82%A6%E3%82%B9%E7%94%B0%E5%AE%B6/@35.712814,139.7874393,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x60188ebe3e43b8db:0x32ec428c880f8ec!8m2!3d35.712814!4d139.789628"><b>Hotel
Denchi</b></a></span><span style="color: black;">. This is a
quieter, residential sort of neighbourhood, with nice parks and shrines and
museums. Here are my recommendations for Tokyo:</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.booking.com/hotel/jp/nine-hours-shinjuku-north.en-gb.html?aid=318615;label=English_India_EN_IN_29561941465-FvbgedBS2RwO9Y0vkqxgpQS113415598465%3Apl%3Ata%3Ap1%3Ap2%3Aac%3Aap1t1%3Aneg%3Afi11772685536%3Atiaud-294080459026%3Adsa-206308680745%3Alp21339%3Ali%3Adec%3Adm;sid=e808446d5f55726d5482e2971647fe53;dest_id=-246227;dest_type=city;dist=0;hapos=1;hpos=1;room1=A%2CA;sb_price_type=total;sr_order=popularity;srepoch=1551175519;srpvid=db8046ef7efa0201;type=total;ucfs=1&#hotelTmpl"><b>9
hours Shinjuku north</b></a></span><span style="color: black;">:
If you’ve never stayed in a capsule hotel before, do yourself a favour and do
it soon! Unless you're acutely claustrophobic, the space should not be concern:
they’re not like MRI machines, which is how I imagined them – more like 5x the
size of an MRI machine. I had three nights of amazing sleep in the capsule.
There are a few minor inconveniences – you need to check in and out of your
capsule every day, but they give you a roomy locker to keep all your stuff, and
there are literally hundreds of coffee shops and restaurants next door.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/LaQua/@35.7068133,139.7511521,17z/data=!3m2!4b1!5s0x60188c38707f5a3f:0xdb78b1e3d5152b0!4m5!3m4!1s0x60188c386f25b02d:0x971c1c811b2ad84b!8m2!3d35.7068133!4d139.7533408"><b>The
Onsen at Spa La Qua</b></a></span><span style="color: black;">:
We spent two afternoons (4 hours plus) here out of a 5-day trip. Need I say
more?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/Harajuku,+Jingumae,+Shibuya,+Tokyo+150-0001,+Japan/@35.6708947,139.7051047,16z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m8!1m2!2m1!1sharajuku+street!3m4!1s0x60188ca2e4535de5:0x4819c8b806e23295!8m2!3d35.6716283!4d139.7102847"><b>Harajuku
street</b></a></span><span style="color: black;">: Very
interesting neighborhood to walk around in – fantastic coffee, dozens of local
designers to look at or buy from, stores with beautiful snacks and desserts,
cafes where you can spend time with hedgehogs, cats or owls. We rolled our eyes
at the weirdness of it all, then caved in an spent a lovely 30 minutes with
some very sleepy hedgehogs. The famous Shibuya crossing is closeby, as is the
Meiji shrine.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/Meiji+Jingu/@35.6763976,139.6971372,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x60188cb79a4c26e5:0x8fca893849103f73!8m2!3d35.6763976!4d139.6993259"><b>Meiji
Shrine</b></a></span><span style="color: black;">: High on
all tourist lists, and with good reason.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.airbnb.co.in/experiences/58915"><b>Bar crawl with Alejandro</b></a></span><span style="color: black;"> (this is an airbnb experience) who
took us on a very memorable walk around the izakayas on harmonica street.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">Stationery stores: The city is a heaven for stationery lovers. We
went to so many but </span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/%E3%82%A4%E3%83%B3%E3%82%AF%E3%82%B9%E3%82%BF%E3%83%B3%E3%83%89+inkstand+by+kakimori/@35.704028,139.7878413,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x60188eb76e4c02f7:0xa6311e186e2a5348!8m2!3d35.704028!4d139.79003"><b>Inkstand
by Kakimori</b></a></span><span style="color: black;"> is
perhaps my favourite. I've come back a person who now writes with fountain
pens.<o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Top three food recommendations for Tokyo: Ramen at </span><a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/Ramen+Zundou-ya+Shinjuku+Shop/@35.6997397,139.714842,14.38z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x662ef5163ffa6d07!8m2!3d35.6967544!4d139.7018668" style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><b>Zundo-ya</b></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> in
Shinjuku, Katsu curry at any of the CoCo Ichibanyas and burgers at </span><a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/BLACOWS/@35.701542,139.7066287,14.16z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x60188b43edf2af03:0xd017aeed6fd54147!8m2!3d35.649399!4d139.7070914" style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"><b>Blacows</b></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
<b>KYOTO<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: black;">Arriving in Kyoto after spending a few days in Tokyo feels like
stepping back in time. It’s quieter, slower and has unbelievably picturesque
streets that you can walk around in for hours, even in winter. I can understand
how popular it is for cherry blossom enthusiasts – every street corner looks
instagrammable. We stayed in Kyoto Inn Gion and I strongly recommend both the
hotel and the neighborhood. If I live in this city for 10 years, I will
not get tired of walking around. I recommend walking in the many interesting
neighborhoods –Shirakawa, Pontocho, </span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/Nishiki+Market/@35.005008,135.7627129,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x6001089ccd8ccb4f:0xb69ea31001ec6c9c!8m2!3d35.005008!4d135.7649016"><b>Nishiki
market</b></a></span><span style="color: black;">, Shijo dori<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>– over multiple days, at different times of
the day, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>because they look lovely in so
many ways, especially the Shirakawa street. Shijo dori street has multiple
dessert stores which have some truly exciting mochi-type sweet snacks which I
recommend trying. We also participated in a </span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.airbnb.co.in/experiences/137946"><b>tea
ceremony</b></a></span><span style="color: black;"> which I
enjoyed a lot. Another highlight of Kyoto was the music performance we watched
at the </span><span class="MsoHyperlink"><a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/KYOTO+MUSE/@35.0051981,135.7664969,17.11z/data=!4m12!1m6!3m5!1s0x6001089ccd8ccb4f:0xb69ea31001ec6c9c!2sNishiki+Market!8m2!3d35.005008!4d135.7649016!3m4!1s0x60010897266d869b:0x2a2f837d98779bb0!8m2!3d35.0038646!4d135.7636061"><b>Kyoto
Muse</b></a></span><span style="color: black;">. This city is
famous for the breathtakingly beautiful shrines in the middle of massive
gardens. The most popular ones are Fushimi Inari - made famous for the gazillion
pictures of orange pillars on Instagram and Arashiyama - the one with the massive
green bamboo trees, you’ve seen the pictures, you know what I’m talking about.
We went to Fushimi Inari and I have to be honest, I did not enjoy it. The crowd
was too overwhelming. But when we walked across the street from our hotel to
the <a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/Yasaka+Kamimachi,+Higashiyama+Ward,+Kyoto,+Kyoto+Prefecture+605-0827,+Japan/@35.0032759,135.7634799,14.87z/data=!4m12!1m6!3m5!1s0x60010879a010eca9:0xc77ac89d5a241ae9!2sYasaka+Shrine!8m2!3d35.0036559!4d135.7785534!3m4!1s0x600108cff5b173a3:0x6da17f8952b4ea0a!8m2!3d34.9982738!4d135.7796174"><b>Yasaka
shrine</b></a>, which is not on any top 10 list, we experienced such perfect beauty
and the silence that I will remember for a long time. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Top three food recommendations for Kyoto: Katsu curry at <a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/Kara-Kusa+Curry/@35.0024731,135.7593039,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x60010899e750ffff:0xe4c3e4e96a0e904b!8m2!3d35.0024731!4d135.7614926"><b>Kara-Kusa
curry</b></a>, Omurice at <a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/Fu-ka+Ginkakuji/@35.0075078,135.7693459,15.42z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x6001090430e3b1fb:0x6290928826b81fad!8m2!3d35.0276498!4d135.7967371"><b>Fu-ka
Ginkakuji</b></a>, and Okominyaki absolutely anywhere. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />
<b>OSAKA</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">They call it the foodies’ city, and they’re right. More than one
person said to us that it’s impossible to have a disappointing meal in Osaka,
so don’t bother to look at reviews. (I think this might be true for all of
Japan. Apart from the one bento box I picked up at Osaka train station for the
Osaka-Tokyo trip, every single meal in Japan is a lovely memory. Food just
looks more beautiful and tastes more exciting in Japan). My recommendations for
Osaka:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<ul>
<li><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.airbnb.co.in/experiences/196087"><b>Morning
meditation at the Osaka castle</b></a> - Airbnb experience with Kuniatsu</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.airbnb.com.mt/experiences/218563?location=Aioicho%2C%20Kobe%2C%20Japan&source=pdpother&currentTab=all_tab&searchId=4e7a2aae-2948-4466-b14d-74b1553f7201"><b>Experience
hidden Namba</b></a> – Airbnb experience with Richard, an American ex-hotelier, who
has lived in Japan for over 30 years, and just knows that he was a Japanese
samurai in a past life. We rang the new year with this dude and a bunch of
very, very friendly strangers</span></span></li>
<li><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Onsen at Spa world – yes, onsen again. Onsens are definitely among
my top 3 Japanese experiences. </span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black;">OUR ITINERARY</span></b><span style="color: black;"><br />Sunday, 23 December: Arrived in Tokyo<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">23 – 25 December to: Tokyo (2 days, 3 nights)</span></b><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Wednesday, 26 December: Train to Kyoto (about 5 hours)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">26-29 December: Kyoto (4 days, 4 nights)</span></b><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sunday 30 December: Train to Osaka (about 15 minutes)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">30 December 2018 to 01 January 2019: Osaka (3 days, 3 nights)</span></b><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Wednesday, 2 Jan 2019: Train to Tokyo<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="color: black;">2-5 January: Tokyo again (3 days, 3 nights)</span></b><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Saturday, 5 January: Flight back to Bombay<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-56692404966749428262019-02-23T14:20:00.001+05:302019-02-23T16:39:42.260+05:30At Nayakhanga (day 4 of the Langtang trail)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx32bPnRdQjM0ONjG4VSu2gd8csEXozSzigHPnXTDowg9vxEIIRzqwJPzW9ONY4n7PPFKsJc6CgWbQeNDG67tj02OKRQ1EtnL1kuwQLsODwSKNgP714LbatfP6olQ3ldpch3isdsHL_w79/s1600/IMG_20180529_102950.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx32bPnRdQjM0ONjG4VSu2gd8csEXozSzigHPnXTDowg9vxEIIRzqwJPzW9ONY4n7PPFKsJc6CgWbQeNDG67tj02OKRQ1EtnL1kuwQLsODwSKNgP714LbatfP6olQ3ldpch3isdsHL_w79/s400/IMG_20180529_102950.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
<br />
What does
anything matter</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
If every
once in a while </div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I can
come to this place</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Even if it is in
my own head - <span style="font-size: 11pt;">travel cheap and easy </span><br />
<br /></div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Breathe
in this pine scented air</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Watch the
sun set over snowed mountains</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Hear yak
bells and <span style="font-size: 11pt;">singing </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">rivers </span></div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Feel the
mental batteries reboot</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Really, what does the chaos in the real world matter</span></div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
When I know that this place exists</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
that I and this mountain live on the same planet</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
that we can meet each other again</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
and
listen to Nepali songs together</div>
<div lang="en-IN" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">songs that I don't understand and yet somehow understand</span></div>
Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-557352307491006812019-02-22T13:07:00.001+05:302019-05-02T10:34:31.152+05:30I think I may have understood what procrastination is all about (thank you Dr Oakley!)<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">I used to love writing. I wrote about the mountains I climbed, imagining scores of people using my blog to plan their own treks. I wrote about my disastrous dates (names removed)</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-align: justify;">, imagining
people reading and chuckling. It was mostly friends and family who read and loved my blog - they said they did and I chose to believe them. Every once in a while, a stranger would pop
in here and leave a flattering comment that would leave me glowing for weeks.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At some point, I became aware that I was an only an average sort of writer, not brilliant. It
wasn't a sudden realization, brought on by any specific criticism, but it came insidiously and took away all the crazy joy I used to get out of a very loved
routine – keyboard clacking, throwing a bunch of random thoughts down on a document, rereading a dozen times, hitting publish, nagging folks to read and enjoying the attention.
It just stopped being fun. My frequency of posting on my blog is a very telling
graph: <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="265" data-original-width="1059" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSbKS14JMCjDgqwIyiPMgJ05qdfJxh34rDLk1ZsxpdKUn2W4IkpDkUz0De6891ubCu47cBO60c5IWz6crG5xZCKG58jNgoCZdoCMkmmW-7DXsm0DJkjIz1px8uFaRvWChDqv1IbE_tWJoL/s640/posts+graph.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="640" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The number of posts I wrote from 2007 to 2018</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />My brother, who
thinks a lot about how powerful the act of creating is and how much it makes us
who we want to become, continued to gently remind me to write, and always said “G<i>reat!</i>”
whenever I said I would write soon. He also continued to renew the subscription on my domain,
year on year, without ever saying anything about it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I wanted to
write. In May 2018, a friend and I went on a gorgeous trek in Nepal, and even
as I was climbing those breathtakingly beautiful trails, I was thinking – this
will break my writer’s block for sure. I know I will want to write about this. We
got back on the 2<sup>nd</sup> of June, and I started to write about the
Langtang trail in July. I wrote a few words, put a few pictures in. And
stopped. Every night, I would put this on my to-do list – “Finish Langtang
post”. Every morning I would see that entry, and this is it what would happen:</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">7 AM: I’ll start my day with
Brainpickings.org, that should inspire me to write</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">8.30 AM: Let me make some fresh coffee and start writing</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">9 AM: I’ll tidy up my work desk
first, then write about Langtang before I open my work </span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">9.30 AM: Let me quickly check email
to see if something important has come in that might need a response from me</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">7 PM: I’m exhausted. I’ll scroll through Facebook and Instagram for a bit, that’ll help me unwind and
then I’ll write</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">8 PM: I don’t feel like
writing, it’s been such a long day. I’ll have dinner and put Langtang on my
to-do list for tomorrow.</span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And so it went
for 3 weeks. And then I decided to stop thinking about Langtang because it was
too painful. I decided I don’t really need to write, I have a pretty fulfilling
life as it is. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And then, two
weeks ago, I started a course called “<a href="https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn/home/welcome" target="_blank">Learning How to Learn</a>” (LHTL) - often cited as the most popular among all MOOCs. I have a tendency
to be hyperbolic, but I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say this course has probably changed my life. And within this course, the lesson on
Procrastination which I want to summarise here, so that I can remember it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Everyone I know
procrastinates. We acknowledge it, with shame, sheepishness, sometimes even a
weird sort of pride. As I went through the course, the mechanics
of procrastination started to make sense. I see patterns in my life and something is starting to shift in my brain. It also helps that thanks to Simon Sinek, I got intensely interested in
neurochemicals, so the procrastination circuit, as explained in LHTL, makes
even more sense. This is what the circuit looks like, with some examples from
my life: <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5LqMOEqYA-kmsJqHJT25w530N_pEOuUKDpLh9Dbf1GGYwntDbim2yQ3V7qW_Z9FGJyVo0NCP7R9dyib0UPcqBjJR9ki8XiwBIKMlA7TSx4ZOym_bOipD3epUyeiGQxRY3G9eNWu51oeOo/s1600/cuehabit3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5LqMOEqYA-kmsJqHJT25w530N_pEOuUKDpLh9Dbf1GGYwntDbim2yQ3V7qW_Z9FGJyVo0NCP7R9dyib0UPcqBjJR9ki8XiwBIKMlA7TSx4ZOym_bOipD3epUyeiGQxRY3G9eNWu51oeOo/s640/cuehabit3.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The procrastination circuit [source: my notes from Learning How to Learn]</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So here are the
top four things I’ve learned from the LHTL’s section on procrastination:</span></div>
</div>
<ol>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span lang="EN-IN">Will power is a limited resource.</span></b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Using
it can deplete it, so it needs to be used strategically. You only need to apply
it at point X – between Cue and Habit – and learning to identify the cues is
the way to streamline the use of your will power</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span lang="EN-IN">Discomfort is your friend</span></b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">. When you’re
trying to manage procrastination, the discomfort you feel when you do not
follow your usual <b><i>cue>habit </i></b>cycle will be significant. Every time, multiple times.
But knowing this discomfort, acknowledging it, being okay with it, not trying
to push it away is the best gift you can give yourself. This discomfort is
building new brain circuits and so it is your friend (Vipassana flashback!)</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span lang="EN-IN">Failing is okay, as long as it is with awareness</span></b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">. Anytime you try to break the <b><i>cue>habit</i></b>, one of two things will
happen. You will either not perform the habit that the cue wants you to do – let’s
call this success. Or you will follow your usual pattern and perform the habit – let’s
call that failure. Success builds new habit circuits, so that over time and
repetition, the discomfort of the new habit will lessen. Failure will increase
your understanding of your self and your patterns so that next time you try to
break the <b><i>cue>habit</i></b> pattern, this understanding will make the process
slightly, infinitesimally, easier. So both outcomes are okay, but you need to
be aware of what is going on.</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span lang="EN-IN">Celebrate when you’re successful</span></b><span lang="EN-IN" style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">. Reward
yourself. Sometimes the reward is the just the feeling that OMG, I did it!
Savour that feeling. The way I’m feeling right now because I finished this
piece.</span></li>
</ol>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span lang="EN-IN"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Final takeaway:
just start. Choose a random self-experiment of breaking one procrastination
habit. My experiment – I will write something every day. It will be uncomfortable, but I will do it.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-68397065709430552702017-11-24T18:34:00.003+05:302019-05-14T15:46:29.142+05:30Jakarta, je t'aime<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b>If you don't like being overwhelmed by choice, </b></i><br />
<i><b>Padang food may not be for you</b></i></td></tr>
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I just got back from a two week work trip to Jakarta, and the city has warmed its way into my heart and list of favorite places. I have to confess I wasn't too excited about the travel as I was starting out - just back from a couple of weeks of intense travel, I really wanted to stay put in Bombay for a bit, and none of the friends and colleagues who had been to Jakarta had called it exciting. The image in my head was of a city struggling with mad congestion and pollution but managing to stay cheerful with great street food. On experience, that image proved correct, but also incomplete. To anyone who says Jakarta traffic is impossible, I say pooh, please come to Bombay, will you! So here I am, a huge fan of the city, and here's a list of things I love about Jakarta, in random order of priority:</div>
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<b>Padang food.</b> My food experiences in Jakarta could a fill a book, and Padang food would be its longest chapter. So here's what happens when you walk into a Padang restaurant and get seated: two, sometimes three, servers come over and start putting bowls of colorful curries and stir fries on your table while you go "Whaaaat's going on?". Then you notice that they're carrying the multiple bowls, not on trays or trolleys, but piled up as pyramids on their arms! They continue the process until you can't see the tablecloth on the table. Then your Indonesian friend explains: you choose whatever you want to eat, take it in your plate, and at the end of the meal, tell the server what you ate and get billed for just that. If the bowl of redang had two pieces of meat, and you had one, that's all you pay for. The rest of the food goes back into the community pots and pans for the next set of guests. "But what if I lie about what I ate and pay less?" That questions causes a lot of amusement, turns out the system works. I loved it - quite apart from how delicious the this region's cuisine is (spicy, coconut-based gravies), the whole process is so affirmative and communal.</div>
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<b>Martabak</b>. This is difficult to write about because I'm struggling to ignore my watering mouth. Think soft, thick pancakes smothered in butter, cheese, chocolate and cream - and that's just the basic version. You then have the tough task of choosing toppings. This snack, which comes in sweet and savory versions, is something locals are very passionate about, with restaurants dedicated to it. But like most things, the street version is the best.</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>The bike taxis.</b> Sure, we have them in India but they're a tiny handful. In Jakarta, they're a critical part of the city's fabric, as </span>ubiquitous as India's auto-rickshaws (Jakarta has those too, and guess what they're called? "Bajaj's", pronounced as "Bajai's"). They're fast and make you feel like a superhuman as you wind through traffic, and they're so easy to use! I used Uber, but they have so many (Grab, Gojek, maybe others too) And I'm an absolute fan of this Gojek thing, which must have started out as a taxi service provider but now has such a delightful list of bells and whistles to it! Imagine combining Uber with Grofers, Chaayos, Ferns&Petals, BlueDart, Flipkart, Bookmyshow, Home salon and maybe a few more things, and you'll have some idea of what Gojek is. I don't know any startup in India that has become a verb yet. My hospital colleagues spoke of "gojecking" documents to each other.</div>
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<b>The food. </b>I know I've listed Padang food and Martabak, but how do I not mention the five different types of sambal, the tahu gejrot (spicy tofu) that made my eyes water, all the satays and nasi gorengs. The street food is as amazing as you expect, and none of the restaurants I stumbled into disappointed me. A place called <b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Dapur+Babah+Elite/@-6.1701374,106.8297769,15z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0xbb8109f0025675bc!8m2!3d-6.1701374!4d106.8297769" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Dapur Bapah Elite</span></a> </span></b>was especially unforgettable - fabulous food in a hundred year old house. There's also a growing coffee shop culture - perfectly brewed coffee in relaxed, warmly lit rooms which have good wifi connections. My personal favorite among the cafes I worked out of - <a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Watt+Coffee/@-6.1805326,106.8382554,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x2e69f435e5b4ad01:0xf8eac50f0cdc2030!8m2!3d-6.1805326!4d106.8404441" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Watt coffee</span></b></a> in Kwitang.</div>
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<b>Transjakarta</b>. If the BRT corridor in Delhi had worked out, it would have been like the Transjakarta. A fast, convenient way to travel in a city where unpredictable traffic is a way of life. I've decided that on my next trip, I will choose a hotel next to a transjakarta station as much as possible.</div>
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<b>The people. </b>I don't know what it says about me that I thought of the affection I feel for Indonesian people only after mentioning the food and transport. I did say my list was going to be random. How is it that in my two weeks in the city, I did not meet one grumpy human being?</div>
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<b>The "Good guide walking tours". </b>I cannot praise <a href="https://jakartagoodguide.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">these guys</span></b></a> enough! I went on two walking tours with them (old town walk and street food walk). They're everything that you expect a good walk tour to be - well informed, chatty, amusing, and then something more - political and passionate. They don't tread gently around issues they care about, and I found that wonderful. And it's pay as you wish.</div>
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<b>Special mention: Indomart and Alphamart. </b>These are supermarket chains like 7-elevens, and it might seem a little silly to mention them, until I tell you that they double up as coffee shops, so you can find really good coffee at practically every street corner. The larger ones even have small tables right next to the shopping aisles. There is something indefinably whimsical about enjoying unhurried coffee surrounded by bright boxes of detergent and listening to employees singing as they stack merchandise.</div>
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There's one additional fact that also deserves special mention: Indians are visa-exempt! Not visa on arrival, visa exempt! Now I know how people with Australian passports feel in half the world.<br />
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Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-45589242809956958622017-03-27T13:14:00.003+05:302017-11-24T17:04:32.785+05:30Of Sanctuaries and positions of safety<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This is the third post to come out of my experiences at the Acumen global gathering in Naivasha earlier this month, and there's no saying if it will be the last. You cannot spend five days with some of the most powerful changemakers in the world and not come out of it shaken and stirred </span>(the first two posts are <a href="http://www.manjotkaur.com/2017/03/notes-from-naivasha.html" target="_blank"><b>here </b></a>and <a href="http://www.manjotkaur.com/2017/03/notes-from-naivasha-part-2-business.html" target="_blank"><b>here</b></a>)<span style="font-family: inherit;">. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">There is one conversation that I am going back to again and again in the week since the gathering, because it was powerful and moving, but even more because it is so relevant to choices I make every day in the Indian political climate. This was Stephanie Speirs' talk on "Sanctuaries". <a href="https://solstice.us/team/" target="_blank"><b>Stephanie is the co-founder of Solstice</b></a>, an <span style="background-color: white;">enterprise dedicated to radically expanding the number of American households that can take advantage of solar power. She is also an Echoing Green Climate Fellow, a Global Good Fund Fellow, a Kia Revisionary, and an Acumen Global Fellow, all of which recognize emerging leaders in social enterprise. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Source: http://www.gallup.com/poll/117328/marriage.aspx</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It says a lot about this woman that,<i> </i>given the opportunity to address to 300+ global citizens, she choose to talk not about her amazing journey in the space of solar energy access, but to talk about courage, about the importance of speaking up when staying quiet seems like the most sensible option, about listening patiently to ideas that clash violently with your values. Because that's how the world changes. In her talk, Steph said something that made me sit up and scribble "must look this up!" in my notes. She said that American acceptance for same-sex marriages has gone from 30% to 60% in the last 10 years. How did this happen? Polls indicate that the #1 reason for this rapid change of opinion is the very simple - "I know someone who is gay".</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">And this is why it is important to keep talking, to keep reaching out to people outside of our "sanctuaries" (we also call these our "bubbles"). My original tendency - every time I read a friend's hateful post on social media, every time I listen to a cab-driver express contempt for a community he doesn't like - is to mentally check out of that conversation </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">(<a href="http://www.manjotkaur.com/2015/01/a-non-confrontational-life.html" style="font-weight: bold;" target="_blank">I wrote a post to defend my desire to live a non-</a><a href="http://www.manjotkaur.com/2015/01/a-non-confrontational-life.html" style="font-weight: bold;" target="_blank">confrontational</a><a href="http://www.manjotkaur.com/2015/01/a-non-confrontational-life.html" style="font-weight: bold;" target="_blank"> life in 2015</a>)</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">. We <i>know </i>that people never change their minds, so why waste your breath? But here is this amazing data that Gallup collected over 20 years that shows that people do indeed change their mind - only 27% North Americans said "yes" to giving legal status to same-sex marriages in 1996, and this number went to 61% in 2016. Would this have happened if gay people stayed in their bubbles and sanctuaries and refused to engage in difficult conversations?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So here's to celebrating the loud SJW in me and all the friends who spend hours arguing and defending their point of view in the face of unrelenting anger and sarcasm. The next time I meet that neighbor who shared with me that she never employs anyone from a certain community ("sometimes they change their surnames so you have to be very careful!"), and left me depressed me for a week, I'll not smile politely and run home. I'll get out my sanctuary and ask her if we can talk about this a bit. </span></div>
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Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-73416238059874758122017-03-24T11:39:00.000+05:302017-03-24T11:39:22.845+05:30Love and ReligionOr, Religion and Love.<div>
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One whispers, I cannot wait to see her again. </div>
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The other mutters, we need to kill these people who eat the other meat. </div>
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One shouts in joy - oh, he wore the shirt I got him!</div>
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The other screams - you will wear what we tell you to wear!</div>
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One says I'm terrified she's going to friendzone me</div>
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The other says I worry about our women marrying their men</div>
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Love and Religion</div>
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No wonder they don't get along</div>
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They don't speak the same words.</div>
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Like Swahili and French</div>
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The script looks the same</div>
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Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-48963525595954431362017-03-20T17:00:00.000+05:302017-03-27T11:26:08.265+05:30Notes from Naivasha - part 1<span style="font-family: inherit;">At a time when the world is obsessing over all the Yogi Adityanaths around and is convinced that nothing will change until Marion Kelly takes over as planet leader, I find myself feeling serene and optimistic to a surprisingly high degree. This probably comes from spending the past week at the Acumen global gathering in Naivasha, Kenya. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Every year (since 2014), Acumen selects local leaders and entrepreneurs working on social change projects </span>- about 20 each in India, Pakistan and East Africa - <span style="font-family: inherit;">and takes them through a five intense seminars aimed at honing, well, their leadership acumen. The seminars drive the fellows into questioning long held belief systems, challenging their status quos, and sharpening their thinking abilities. I am both proud and humbled to be among the India fellows for the year 2017. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">As I write this, I am very aware that the above description of the seminars is terribly inadequate. I am already a different person from what I was before I went to the first seminar in February 2017. I am more aware of my strengths and inadequacies than I have ever been, and more accepting of the inadequacies than I ever thought was possible. I've had a tendency to talk about my life's story as a series of brightly-lit milestones (medical school, MBA in finance, Indian Navy, Clinton foundation, a passport with 25 countries' stamps, an amazing, adoring husband), and glazing quickly over all the spectacular disasters (a divorce, unending confusion about my life's purpose, a job where I made every textbook leadership mistake). The new me surprises me by recognizing my failures with humility, but also with a sense of strength from what these failures have taught me and how they add to my life's narrative. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />The Acumen fellowship will, I am convinced, turn out to me the biggest milestone of my life. I've just returned from my second seminar as a fellow, which was also the organization's first "Global Gathering", a sanctuary where the Acumen team, fellows and partners got together to share stories of impact and to learn from each other. It was four days of intense thinking, activity and discussions, and I want to record some of the many moments that will always stay with me: </span><br />
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<b style="font-family: inherit;">"Idealism is the new strategic"</b><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>- Jacqueline Novogratz, Acumen Founder and CEO, and the Opening Plenary</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i>"Transparency in the face of corruption is that much harder, and that much more powerful" <br /><i>- Bob Collymore (CEO of Safaricom), talking about the flak he and Joshua Oigara (CEO of KCB Bank) received when they decided to publish their salaries in the public domain.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i>"One of the smartest things you can do to be successful at work is find yourself a life-partner who can be your champion"<br /><i>- Bob Collymore again, in a talk with Chris Anderson, who expressed fervent agreement</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i>"Don’t worry about being broken. It’s only in our brokenness that we find our purpose"<br />"A person is not the worst thing they ever did. Even a murderer is more than a murderer"<br />"I have a list of four absolutely critical ingredients for creating impact: one, stay proximate to the problem and the communities whose problems you’re trying to solve; two, change the narratives that support poverty and inequality; three, stay hopeful even when there is no hope because that is your greatest power; and four, do uncomfortable things"<br /><i>- <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bryan_Stevenson" target="_blank">Bryan Stevenson</a>, Founder of Equal Justice Initiative, and one of the most powerful speakers I have listened to</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />"I went on a 3-day hunger strike to convince my parents to let me go to college"<br />"At 17, I got on the bus to go to college to a city which was six hours away from home. It was the farthest I had ever been from home. It was the closest I had ever been to freedom."<br />"My first government job posting was in a village very far from home. My entire neighbourhood came home to tell my father how dangerous it would be if he let me go, and I knew he was under a lot of pressure. That evening, I packed my bag, went to my his room, put the bag next to him and said - 'The bus leaves at 6 AM. If you believe in me, please wake me up at 5 AM and drop me at the bus station.' The next morning, he was standing proudly with me at the bus station. I had learned the power of words"<br /><i>- Shamim Akhtar, teacher in Pakistan government education department, and Acumen 2015 fellow</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">"We got so many rejections we started to see them as the norm"<br />"My biggest lesson is that impact work is a marathon rather than a sprint. It needs a lot of patience. And as you run the marathon, treat yourself with respect. Recharge your batteries often. Invest in family, relationships."<br /><i>- Ned Tozun, Co-founder D-Light, discussing the idea of scale with Chris Anderson</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i> "People who love charts can change the world."<br /><i>- Sasha Dichter, Acumen's Chief Innovations Officer, summarising the D-light journey</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i> "Courage only comes with purpose. The crises in my mother's life gave me purpose; my purpose gave me courage, and courage gave birth to the entrepreneur in me" <br /><i>- Otim Gerald, Co-Founder, Ensibuuko, a Fintech Company based in Uganda and rapidly growing to other east African nations.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-family: inherit;">"Data makes underserved people visible and gives them a voice"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>- Tonia Kariuki, CMO, Africa, GE Healthcare</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i>"I may have discovered my purpose late in life, but people in my family live long. I'm only in my 50s so I have 50 more years to work hard" <br /><i>- Gayathri Vasudevan, CEO Labournet</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">If all the sessions I participated in expanded my mind, the friendships that expanded my heart were even more powerful. I learned that Sonali and I are basically the exact same person; we just look different. Fahad and Zubin discovered what might be the one thing that can tell Indians and Pakistanis apart - turns out that the head nod that says 'I agree with you' is an absolutely Indian thing, and Pakistanis find it as inexplicable and funny as the rest of the world does. I made friends with Bola who is an epidemiologist working in public health in Kenya and who went to work in hardcore advertising for a year because she wanted to learn to package healthcare advice better. We played holi and learned to dance the Attan and the Eskesta (maybe 'learned' is a stretch, but we tried). I will never forget my story-walk with Zahoor, who is an Acumen 2010 fellow, and who generously shared with me stories about his struggle-filled years in the development space, and about his large, loving family which is an interesting mix of tradition and openness. Neither will I forget my 3 AM conversation in the garden with Shabir, fighting cold and sleepiness, because I could not stop listening to the stories of his childhood - with humor and pride, he described to me how he loved reading so much that he would fish out old newspapers from the trash he was employed to clean.<br /><br />In the midst of all this intense learning and bonding, two other things happened. One, my own cohort - the India 2017 fellows - became even closer and became the family I constantly found myself drifting to, every few hours, to feel recharged and loved and accepted. And two, I found that I am no longer uncomfortable about being in this space of career transition. Like Gayathri Vasudevan, I intend to live long and work for a long time in building a world of equal opportunities and access.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.manjotkaur.com/2017/03/notes-from-naivasha-part-2-business.html" target="_blank"><b>Click here for Notes from Naivasha - part 2 (Business Insights)</b></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Acumen is a global VC fund that uses entrepreneurial approaches and a core philosophy of </span>"patient capital" <span style="font-family: inherit;">to build strong, sustainable organizations which deliver goods and services </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">to address poverty-related issues globally. As of 2015, it has invested over $100 M USD in over 100 enterprises across 6 portfolios: water, health, housing, energy, agriculture, and education.</span></i></span><br />
<i><br /></i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDV61XSp7pszwqh6odLJuvvKC6iImAhpvBYSSXfYudccmks48hifXvkNkmNBVrjMeV6yOmSi_cGBVmQ-PrOZMFhNKKEDJooXDXIV0U89nZlsF1T9TRCDINVN3U3TLoxNMbyXa7xbyV7wcB/s1600/IMG-20170316-WA0006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDV61XSp7pszwqh6odLJuvvKC6iImAhpvBYSSXfYudccmks48hifXvkNkmNBVrjMeV6yOmSi_cGBVmQ-PrOZMFhNKKEDJooXDXIV0U89nZlsF1T9TRCDINVN3U3TLoxNMbyXa7xbyV7wcB/s640/IMG-20170316-WA0006.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A subset of my Acumen India 2017 family: superstars who work in education, sanitation, financial inclusion, child rights.....</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></i></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-91542861342378380322017-03-20T16:00:00.000+05:302017-03-21T08:25:07.956+05:30Notes from Naivasha - part 2 (Business Insights)One of my most amusing, humbling yet empowering experiences at the Acumen global gathering was that every single professional or personal crises that I've experienced seemed to be a textbook case. I described in detail what I thought was a particularly twisted team dynamic issue to Barbara Grant, CEO Crux Consulting, expecting a lot of sympathy and compassion, only to have her exclaim in joy - "Oh, that is my favourite kind of problem!". Here is a summary of some session insights I plan to revisit multiple times for the rest of my career:<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">"Impact work is a long term career. If you really want to change the world, you need to work in a 50-year context, possibly even longer."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">"Failure allows us to both learn and iterate. And what stops us from seeing this is the pressure of urgency that we put on ourselves - the pressure that tells us to 'either do it yesterday, or run away'. We need to be urgent, but we also need be patient. Just like we need to be both humble and proud."<br />"The one who knows his WHY can endure any HOW."<br /><i>- From Maryam Mohiuddin (Founder, Social Innovations Lab) and Mina Shahid's (Co-founder, Numida Technologies) session on "Befriending failure in your lifelong commitment to social change"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i>"Understand that everything that you find painfully annoying about the 'difficult people' you work with is like a two-sided hook - the other party is as hooked as you are, and nothing useful can happen until you get this hook out"<br />"First, unhook if you can, or choose to be strategic if you can't. Second, be as curious as you can be, and really seek to understand. Third, establish trust. Fourth, allow for grace and prioritize the future"<br /><i>- From Barbara Grant's session which had the absolutely irresistible title "Unlikely Allies: When you need to work with people with different values, roles, priorities"</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i>"Start-ups need to be based in autonomy, scale needs to be based in structure. So when start-ups move to scale, processes and people need to move from autonomy to structure. This typically creates a lot of tension."<br />"Leaders in the impact space need to spend about 20% of their time in coaching and mentoring their team"<br />"The biggest cause of failure in early stage organizations is a badly defined value proposition and mission statement. For organisations in series B funding stage, the biggest causes of failure are the people - leadership and team."<br /><i>- Justus Kilian, Post investment manager, Acumen, in a discussion on taking organizations to scale</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i>"Rarely can a response make a crises situation better. What makes things better is human connection"<br />"It IS possible to express non-resonating feedback without being judgmental. It just needs courage, authenticity, and a little practice."<br /><i>- Prerak Mehta and Neel Shah's session on Empathy</i></span><br />
<br />Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-77186847533263385192016-08-02T07:47:00.001+05:302017-03-20T17:47:35.232+05:30Notes from an NGO start-up<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Mentor Me India (MMI) is
a Bombay-based NGO working in the space of mentoring. We match, support and
measure progress of structured mentoring partnerships where the mentees are 9
to 15-year-old children in low income communities and the mentors are
professionals looking for meaningful volunteer work. Our work is driven by our
mission: to empower children in low income communities to grow to their full
potential through enduring one-to-one partnerships with strong role models. We
currently support over 400 mentor-mentee pairs across 12 locations in Mumbai,
and are building plans to become a national organization in the next five
years. To find out more about our work, please visit <a href="http://mentormeindia.org/" target="_blank">the website </a>or write to us at
<a href="mailto:info@mentormeindia.org">info@mentormeindia.org</a>. <o:p></o:p></i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is exactly four months since I
joined the MMI team, and now is a good time to summarize my impressions from this time. It had seemed like an unconventional move, the transition from an organization
with a long history of public health work to an innovative NGO start-up. But
time has shown that following my instincts may have been a good idea. It
has been a roller-coaster – four months of exhilarating successes and heart-stopping
worries - but every day has been satisfying, intellectually as well as
emotionally. I've spent a lot of time struggling with
the jargon <i>(so what is the difference
between a “group mentoring session” and a “mentor-training session” and an
“induction session” again?)</i> and figuring out priorities. But there are
events that stand out, and the four month anniversary is a good time to record some of them:<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><i>“These children have changed in ways that I
never expected”<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
17 April 2016: I met Ashlesha Chitnavis, the CEO of <i>Udaan</i>, an NGO where MMI has been supporting
a mentoring program since January 2016. We remind mentors that 6 months is
too early to notice visible change in their mentees, and that it is important
to be patient, but Ashlesha’s enthusiastic approval made my day: <i>“If you had told me, six months ago, that I
would see Vivek coming to class, not throwing things, and actually asking the teacher
a question, I would not have believed you. I don’t know what Vinesh </i>(Vivek’s
mentor, who works with L&T) <i>did, but the
boy has been transformed. And he’s not the only one”. </i>When a school partner
is keen on enrolling more children as mentees, we know we’re doing something
right. <i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b>My first mentor
orientation session<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
4 June 2016: Around the time I was interviewing for the ED’s
role, I was also interviewed to be a mentor (my mentee is an 11-year-old girl who
lives in a slum in the western suburbs). All mentors who clear the interview and background
checks go through a half-day “orientation session” before meeting their mentees.
This was a fascinating experience, not in the least because of the people I met.
There aren’t many places in the city where you have people from such varied
contexts - marketing professionals, architects, physicians, actors - connecting
and openly sharing anxieties. We learned that the drivers of success in
mentoring relationships (trust, mutual respect, dependability) are the same as
drivers of success in any relationship; we learned that the one-to-one
mentoring we had signed up for would include multiple supporters– the mentees’
parents and the MMI team, among others. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><i>“I ran in the pinkathon – it was the best
day”<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
9 July 2016: the day I was introduced to my mentee. Mentors
and mentees are matched through a simple algorithm and meet each other in group
settings the first few times. MMI does this in style – as mentors came in, they
got name tags with cryptic drawings (I had a tree and Prashanth had a pencil next
to his name). The kids seemed more confident than the mentors, who were a little
overwhelmed by everything they learned at orientation. It took Priyanka (not her real name) less than
a minute to find me: <i>“You have a tree
next on your nametag, and so do I. That means you’re my didi.” </i>Our small
talk was effortless. We learned that we both like running (she ran the
pinkathon last year!) more than dancing. When I asked her why she signed up for
the program, she said: <i>“You will be my
didi, you will teach me to speak English, and you will make me more confident”.
</i>I hope to do all that and more.<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><i>“My mentee has given
me more than I will ever give her”<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
10 July 2016: “Graduation” for the mentor-mentee pairs who
were matched in Summer 2015, was as heart-warming as one would expect. What
repeatedly came up was that mentors were convinced that <i>their</i> lives had improved after they became role models to children who,
in spite of all their difficulties, approach life with nothing less than
perfect joy. The mutual trust, respect and affection was palpable – and we hope
will lead to lifelong friendships which will change the life trajectories of
these children. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><i>“I want all 70 of my children to be healthy
and successful”<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
16 July 2016: The induction session (the day when mentors
and mentees are introduced to each other) at the Navi Mumbai center was a
strange mix of hilarity and sombreness. Our NGO partner here is an orphanage run
by pastor Manoj and his wife Priya whose story is so interesting that it will
make a book one day. About a decade ago, this middle class couple decided that
they had had enough of feeling sorry for children they saw begging in the
street, went ahead and adopted four orphans. They barely had enough to make rent, but they optimistically decided that things would work out. And as often happens, they did. Their home grew into an orphanage
which is now a registered entity with a staff of 12, and currently supports nearly
70 abandoned children and orphans. Of these, 28 are 9 to 15 years old, and all
of them need mentors. We’ve so far found only half that number, and the pastor
has had to take the tough decision to choose the 15 that that most need
mentoring. The induction was one of the most energetic that our team has seen, and
our only discomfort was that the 13 kids who don’t have mentors yet kept
wistfully peeping into the room where the mentor-mentee pairs were writing
songs together.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><i>“Positive Closure” <o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
28 July 2016: I was able to speak to
the lovely Alejandra Avina who is a match specialist at Boston’s Big Sister
organization, which has been matching and supporting <i>bigs </i>(“mentors”) and
<i>littles </i>(“mentees”) in Boston for over 60 years. Alejandra generously gave me nearly two hours of her time, and was amazingly helpful. The biggest takeaway from that conversation was the idea of “positive closure” – about how
important it is to end all mentoring partnerships on high, positive notes, and
not around themes of guilt or abandonment (again, true for all relationships). <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Things continue to be challenging. Even before we have finished patting each other on the back for
recruiting and matching another fantastic batch of mentors this summer, we realize
that the deadline to find a new office space is less than month away. The
impact assessment for last year’s mentoring program, the exit interviews for
the mentors who have had to leave us, the closure conversations for children
whose mentors have discontinued the program, the website, plans for the year
ahead, fundraising – there is so much that needs to be done. A friend recently said,
<i>“I just have one question for you. Which
one of your problems will you chase first?”</i>. It’s a good question; the
prioritization of the issues is issue in itself, and one that keeps changing. The good
news is that we have managed to build ourselves a team of extremely talented
people, and we’re well on our way. <o:p></o:p></div>
Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-91979791744124378392016-02-19T17:52:00.001+05:302016-08-02T09:07:09.239+05:30The new normal<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghnUGJzWae7AFU8VkEyp7NM_9O3D7QNT68ZVlDTfKQltfXtxKydUP7k-7fDoVyU4Q5ccPooifXekJSNhZANCSTvJbkuwbd1zi314Fxy8qNHa24OTfRh1wopuAloYR_1uSN2I8sKhpfeZxe/s1600/756a0fd7246115cb1d195211843f1059.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghnUGJzWae7AFU8VkEyp7NM_9O3D7QNT68ZVlDTfKQltfXtxKydUP7k-7fDoVyU4Q5ccPooifXekJSNhZANCSTvJbkuwbd1zi314Fxy8qNHa24OTfRh1wopuAloYR_1uSN2I8sKhpfeZxe/s1600/756a0fd7246115cb1d195211843f1059.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>From the Buddha doodles</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I'm thinking about the JNU crackdown almost constantly these days, and everything in my daily existence feels like a background narrative to what is happening in Delhi and to Kanhaiya Kumar. It seems to me that we're in a very important phase in the history of our times - perhaps these weeks will be talked about every time future humans think back to a time when India used to put people in jail for saying something like "patriotism is a dumb concept and I don't give a shit about the ugly flag". In the present time, this last sentence might offend a lot of people; it might even make me eligible for prison, but think about it, saying all of the following was prison-worthy at some point in recent history:<br />
<br />
"Women have the right to vote"<br />
"Blacks and whites can go to the same universities"<br />
"India should be a free country"<br />
"I want to work on Sunday and not go to church"<br />
<br />
Given that the world is changing before our eyes, it is rational to assume that at some point in the future, someone will stand on top of a table in a park and shout that India should be 25 different self-governed countries, and people will either yell back in agreement or disagreement, or laugh in derision. Some people will yawn and say, meh, that's his opinion, and I don't care either way. There will be a couple of guys who will want to punch the nose of the speaker, but THAT will be seen as illegal and it will be the punchers who will be taken to the police station for a chat, not the speaker.<br />
<br />
I was thinking these thoughts as I was jogging yesterday so the podcast that came up on stitcher (it's an app I use for streaming podcasts), "The New Normal", almost seemed like a direct answer. Radiolab, brillant as usual. The premise of the podcast is the question - can people/cultures/belief systems change? - and it explores the question over three amazing stories. The one that blew my mind was story #3 which links behavior change to genetics and Darwinism, through the idea of domestication. We know that wolves, who are creatures of the wild, branched out and evolved into dogs over hundreds of years of evolution, from ferocious snarly creatures, to adorable cuddly pets. The podcast talks about a biologist in Siberia in the 1960s who wanted to understand this process of evolution/domestication and worked with wild foxes; turns out it took him only ten years of selective breeding to change wild fox into domesticated fox. This leads to the inevitable question: can such a process happen with humans? <b>And guess what the answer is - it is already happening. </b>The universe is playing selective breeder with us. As compared to our ancestors, we're shorter, our bones are more fragile, we're less aggressive (hard to believe when you see pictures of RSS karyakartas, but it's true). How did this happen? As societies moved towards community based activities like agriculture, aggressive people were less useful than collaborative ones, and so the latter were more likely to be more popular, have better luck in finding mates and having kids, and hence had a better chance of propagating their genes! <a href="http://www.radiolab.org/story/update-new-normal/" target="_blank"><b>This is the podcast</b></a>, I cannot recommend it too highly. It will cheer you up and give you hope.<br />
<br />
It's only logical to hope that the process will continue: The RSS karyarta-types will find fewer mates, and the folks like the cute JNU students will have a more active sex life (they're carrying roses in their protest marches for god's sake!), and therefore, spread more of their genes around. So in a few hundred years, we will be a world of sensible, respectful, 'domesticated' people, who will argue and disagree but will not kill each other for arguing and disagreeing.<br />
<br />
I only wish the process were faster.<br />
<div>
<u><br /></u></div>
<u><i>Sometime in 2216....</i></u><br />
<i><br /></i><i>Kanhaiya Lee</i><i>: Dude, I've been doing a lot of reading and thinking about patriotism and love for the motherland. I think Hitler was one of the smartest people ever, he was just very misunderstood. </i><br />
<i>Albert Singh</i><i>: Well, he was a murderer, can't get away from that, you know</i><br />
<i>Lee: But he had the greater good of his country at the core of all his actions. I really admire him. </i><i>He was so right - the welfare of the people who belong to a country takes precedence over anything else.</i><br />
<i>Singh: Nothing justfies killing 3 million people. Nothing. At. All.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>....goes on for a couple of hours.....</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Singh: I think you're an *****.</i><br />
<i>Lee: I think you're stick-in-the mud baffoon, incapable of any intellectual growth. I'm hungry, do you want to go get a Soylent drink? </i><br />
<i>Singh: That place with the cute waiter? Yes, I heard he broke up with his boyfriend. Let's go! And after that, will you help me with some research on my paper?</i><br />
<i>Lee: I'll think about it. </i>Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-17253742120755912582016-02-15T20:24:00.000+05:302017-03-20T17:48:26.526+05:30The Big MMI Day<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFAt-ZHOPrEb0D4NEZQjIH-Va59ojXWbS43Qua5Tm0Wj9ilrV3esOyeEt5mfNEl8dweMqg2mxie08AiYZWUQL-jQvJ_v4fdXccrL-gH7DRWdZSuHM1342esFNh4qxPT0mtWR3ARnL3V9SX/s1600/IMG_20160214_140822477.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFAt-ZHOPrEb0D4NEZQjIH-Va59ojXWbS43Qua5Tm0Wj9ilrV3esOyeEt5mfNEl8dweMqg2mxie08AiYZWUQL-jQvJ_v4fdXccrL-gH7DRWdZSuHM1342esFNh4qxPT0mtWR3ARnL3V9SX/s400/IMG_20160214_140822477.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My favorite on the wish tree-"I wish my mentor always stay the way he is now"</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
In a sea of Sundays, yesterday stands out. The <a href="http://mentormeindia.org/" target="_blank">Mentor Me India (MMI)</a> team very graciously invited me to participate in the second edition of the Big MMI Day, which is a day long picnic for their mentors and mentees. I had seen pictures from and heard stories about the <a href="http://mentormeindia.org/big-mmi-day-2015-first-edition/" target="_blank">first edition</a> of this picnic, so I was looking forward to it not more than a little bit, and I wasn't disappointed. There was a wishing tree, a birthday party and a photo booth. There were groups playing Uno, tables with jigsaw puzzles, craft corners for creating stories and painting with fingers. And there were some bravehearts who clearly were immune to the sun and were playing kho-kho and football. In the interest of full disclosure, I should say that I'm soon going to join the MMI core team, so my opinions and impressions are likely to be biased in their favour, but since I'm not officially a part of the team until April, I can still call this the perspective of an unaffected observer and get away with it.<br />
<br />
To briefly introduce MMI: this is a non-profit organization built around the idea of mentorship to "help children in low-income communities grow to their full potential by supporting enduring one-to-one relationships with strong role models" - an idea very similar to the US-based <a href="http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.9iILI3NGKhK6F/b.5962335/k.BE16/Home.htm" target="_blank">Big Brothers Big Sisters</a>, which is a 100-year old success story, and continues to make enduring impact. MMI is just under 3 years old and already showing amazing effects on the 250 mentor-mentee pairs that have been part of the program since it started in Bombay in 2013.<br />
<br />
Almost everyone I know mentors someone in their community - helping the domestic help's children with their homework, providing career counselling to the neighborhood teenagers, reviewing resumes at the alma mater - and while all of this is extremely useful, there are a few things that make the MMI model different from everything we've been doing:<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7ajlrNXQmUQDX3It9SJ0pXmx3D4-isgHWacozLYyoQabFnqT-SXFH5sVHs_28fagdGcmc74LLG4_rZykRqZO3srKr1qHO3kzk5O47ESbE29ppSDuc5sxYE0xLY5JYrQhdE4056Z4LIe66/s1600/IMG_20160214_131534999_HDR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7ajlrNXQmUQDX3It9SJ0pXmx3D4-isgHWacozLYyoQabFnqT-SXFH5sVHs_28fagdGcmc74LLG4_rZykRqZO3srKr1qHO3kzk5O47ESbE29ppSDuc5sxYE0xLY5JYrQhdE4056Z4LIe66/s320/IMG_20160214_131534999_HDR.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The photo booth was very popular</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>It is structured and formalized: </b>To become an MMI mentor, you need to sign up with them and fill out a detailed form which makes you search your soul and explain why you would make a good mentor. I filled up that form last month and the rigor of the process reminded me of my ISB essays. MMI uses a unique algorithm to match your information with what they learn from interviews with potential mentees to connect you with a child who would most benefit from a partnership with you. It is perhaps this scientific matching process that forms the basis of the strong mentor-mentee relationships; the process is not based on superficial what-you-might-expect elements like interests, gender, ambitions (a doctor matched up to a child who dreams of studying medicine) although that is a definite part of it. And after you get selected into the program, and your mentee gets assigned to you, you spend one weekend training with the MMI team, followed by an 'induction session' where you meet your mentee and his/her family. After that, you're expected to set up your own meetings two to three times a month with your mentee, with regular check ins with the MMI team, and <u>you stick with it for at least one year</u>. It is the one-on-one nature of the engagement that allows it to be such a rich experience: each child gets exactly what he needs to grow and develop. Your mentee might not need help with her math homework, but she might need someone to talk her through her attempts to get over her terror of public speaking. You figure out what they need and you give them exactly that.<br />
<br />
<b>It's bigger (and deeper) than you expect.</b> What surprised me the most, and perhaps it really shouldn't have, was that nearly all the mentor-mentee pairs seemed friends. There was an ease, a comfort in the interactions that only comes from long association and shared experiences with people who like and respect each other. <i>"This one can sing reasonably well, but only if she's in the right mood" </i>- a 14-year old mentee said this to me, about her mentor, and then guffawed loudly. I think this might be my favourite part of the MMI effect: the mentors are no patronizing, the mentees are not bent in gratitude. This is a friendship among equals, with both learning from each other. I secretly think that the matching algorithm is behind this as well - it is easy to be friends with someone who looks and talks just like your younger/grown-up version. A significant proportion of the pairs have continued the relationship beyond the mandatory one year.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWaJFO4y1GBSxNXMM_B_xb0XM9yeuKui0DWd4caerQ81ci0BKFXvKIEdo3ApubYB0gwqGrqZ6uQDi3ABJITepZigjpHdCr28gKQBX2SLA4obbe0HWrfqUrKGiX0cH7xgjAsqygNjLBsXzX/s1600/IMG_20160214_131935019_HDR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><i><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWaJFO4y1GBSxNXMM_B_xb0XM9yeuKui0DWd4caerQ81ci0BKFXvKIEdo3ApubYB0gwqGrqZ6uQDi3ABJITepZigjpHdCr28gKQBX2SLA4obbe0HWrfqUrKGiX0cH7xgjAsqygNjLBsXzX/s320/IMG_20160214_131935019_HDR.jpg" width="180" /></i></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Birthday parties on the Big MMI day</i></td></tr>
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<b></b><br />
<b></b>
<b>It has very visible impact.</b> The MMI team has been doing a rigorous evaluation of their program, and they have a detailed <a href="http://mentormeindia.org/impact/" target="_blank">impact report</a> that shows how the program has enabled children better their school scores and become more confident. But I want to talk about some of the visible results which make my head spin. I'm very worried that I will sound stereotypical when I say this, but when you meet a 12 year old who you have been told lives on the street, you don't expect them to come up to you in a confident, friendly manner, introduce themselves in well-articulated, if broken English, and ask you who you are, what you do, and why you are at their picnic. And yet this happened with me yesterday, over and over again. I sat to watch a group playing Uno, and was so amused to watch the kids making up new rules and teaching their mentors. There was one 13 year old mentee who borrowed the MMI camera and took pictures that were so good that they will be used on the website. Just as you would expect at any large gathering, there were all kinds of children - self conscious and shy ones, ones who clearly loved being under arc-lights, but everyone of them had this strong sense of their place, not just at the MMI day, but in the world.<br />
<br />
And perhaps not surprisingly, there is a very visible impact on the mentors as well. They look happy of course, but they talk about things like how the program has changed them, and has allowed them to know themselves and the universe a little better.Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-19378424050428279332016-02-07T11:42:00.000+05:302016-02-16T09:21:02.101+05:30Bandra cafes as working spaces<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For the past year or so, I've lived with the dubious joys of working from home. The advantages are many - I can work from Goa or Macleodganj, I can get a foot massage in the middle of my work day, I don't need to spend money on work clothes, etc. But overall, it's been a mixed bag, because making this work, week after week, takes a high level of discipline, which I have, and a low dependence on social contact, which I don't. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white;">At some point last year, I realised that the only two people I saw from Monday to Friday were my loving husband and our lovely domestic help. So I was either putting a lot of pressure on these two people to provide me with all the human contact I needed, or I was postponing all non-work related stimulation to weekends. A narrow, middle path that suggested itself was that I park myself at coffee shops and restaurants, which provide plenty of opportunities for random conversations and people watching while you work. So I scouted locations in Bandra (I was too lazy to get out of my neighborhood, and why commute when you don't have to) which could be used as working spaces. And what a fun project this has been! I've been working out of various cafes, and restaurants and have been evaluating them on the basis of five criteria:</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvXPNSr0vqWXRywZOoXTeyFfaUxXxz-0iKWy320ny7vxQ-sZyQm_q0mWYVsqSr-mxytLq9UsB5Ey1lCdC8WMayE553gZt5dLHPy63wfsHF1zi7V_90dSpTG0HcF3ssQZiCC1V29DCN6_-T/s1600/11999081_10153039772036316_5404326587381457831_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvXPNSr0vqWXRywZOoXTeyFfaUxXxz-0iKWy320ny7vxQ-sZyQm_q0mWYVsqSr-mxytLq9UsB5Ey1lCdC8WMayE553gZt5dLHPy63wfsHF1zi7V_90dSpTG0HcF3ssQZiCC1V29DCN6_-T/s200/11999081_10153039772036316_5404326587381457831_n.jpg" width="112" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">Birdsong Cafe</span></td></tr>
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<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">General ambiance - how bright, airy and cheerful is it, does it have comfortable tables and seating</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">WiFi quality</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Staff philosophy of I'll-leave-you-in-peace-until-you-need-me</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Quality of food and coffee</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Productivity, or average % completion of my To-Do-List for the day</span></li>
</ul>
<ol>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'm very aware that all the metrics in this analysis are subjective and prone to inconsistency, but it's better than what is out there - Zomato doesn't have a filter for "suitable for working" (yes, I've looked), and the small handful of existing blogs on this subject are even more subjective. </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white;">So here's my list of the top 5 working spaces in Bandra, not necessarily in order: </span></span></div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/The+Bagel+Shop/@19.0631795,72.8228248,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c96c7e09c42f:0xecda0ef79277f502" target="_blank">The Bagel Shop, Pali Mala Road</a></b>. <span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">My favorite thing about this place is the sheer number of potted plants - some days you can imagine you're sitting in a leafy verandah of an old colonial bungalow. The food is amazing too - sandwiches, bagels, salads made fresh and falvorful, innovative milk shakes, yumm! </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">Cons: The WiFi is patchy, and the chairs do not encourage long hours of sitting.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Brooke+Bond+Taj+Mahal+Tea+House/@19.0483171,72.8236943,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c94709994f15:0xbbc0becf5b6d3c1a" target="_blank">Taj Mahal Tea House, St. John Baptist Road</a></b>. <span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">This place has the nicest staff you'll ever meet! That, plus the exotic teas (I'm now addicted to the kari-patta chai) alone would have made this place a workplace 10 for me. You can sit here for hours with one cup of tea; they'll just keep refilling your water, and leave you alone in peace. The food is above average, and the tables are so comfortable that I've done multiple 8-hour workdays here. The WiFi used to be frustrating, but it's improved a lot in past few weeks. The fact that they sometimes have musicians come in for live performances is an unexpected plus - I worked to the accompaniment of a live sitar performance last week. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Birdsong+Organic+Cafe/@19.0540663,72.8254476,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c940815e3331:0x7a6d5f4613104903" target="_blank"><b>Birdsong Cafe, Waroda Road</b></a>. To think I would never have discovered this place if an auto-driver hadn't taken a short cut through Ranwar village! This beautiful coffee shop is tucked away in a tiny lane on the edge of the Ranwar village (another Bandra landmark that I'm absolutely obsessed with). My favourite thing about Birdsong is how quiet it is - if you're lucky enough to get the table in the far right corner, you can forget the world for hours. That, and the delicious organic food (must try the gluten free breads and desserts). The hot chocolate comes close to Mrs. Magpie's in Kolkata, and is helping me get over some of the pain of my Kolkata-nostalgia. There's a WiFi that never works, sadly, but it's a small price. All of us work-from-home people always carry a good internet data card anyway. </span></li>
<li><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Bru+World+Cafe/@19.065303,72.8296536,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c913bb01412d:0xce450639496d1c34" style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif;" target="_blank"><b>Bru World Cafe, 33rd Road</b></a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">.</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> There are six of these unsung heroes in Bombay. I've been to two, and I prefer the one on 33rd because its more airy and open. They don't have fancy </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">food, but everything else is perfect.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The coffee is good, the </span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; white-space: pre-wrap;">WiFi is fast and consistent, the tables are perfect for working - I'm guessing that the only reason they aren't always full is perhaps because not enough people know about them. There's an outdoor seating as well, so on pleasant days, you can sit among the plants. </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/The+Yoga+House/@19.0656751,72.8225803,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c941b4afca5b:0xd730d9b9722622cb" target="_blank"><b>The Yoga House, Sherly Rajan Road</b></a><b>. </b>No WiFi, and the seating options consist either of wall benches that encourage you to sit cross legged, or small, slightly uncomfortable chairs. But I love being in this place because it feels like working out of a quiet little tree house. You climb three flights of stairs to reach a cafe in two levels. The space is small, but it's open and white and surrounded by tall trees. There are other people working quietly and the only sounds are the birds in the trees. The food is amazing. I recommend the quinoa poha with the adrak chai. </span></li>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And the list of runners' up: </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Salt+Water+Cafe/@19.0504342,72.8247026,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c94759b376c7:0xb8be3c119fae797a" target="_blank"><b>Saltwater cafe, Chapel Road</b></a> - Perfect for a Friday afternoon, because after you finish sending your last email, you can seamlessly enter the weekend, and be the early bird to the amazing happy hour deals.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/The+Sassy+Spoon/@19.0549284,72.824428,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c94067acddff:0x4c222cb57961bd6d" target="_blank"><b>Sassy Spoon, Hill Road</b></a> - How can I not love working out of a place where I can eat scones and clotted cream during my tea break? It's on the junction of a noisy road, and the WiFi isn't great. But on stressful workdays, you can walk across the street to <a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Mettaa+Foot+Reflexology+Centre/@19.0625318,72.8220063,15z/data=!4m5!1m2!2m1!1smetta+spa!3m1!1s0x115aeef3c770fefd:0x55c8b8cc96b0ab12" target="_blank">Metta</a>, which is perhaps the only foot reflexology center in Bombay run by visually impaired people. Great foot massages. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Candies/@19.0608665,72.8246425,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c96b3b51538b:0xaddb4eebfe34c0fe" target="_blank"><b>Candies, Pali Hill</b></a>: The giant bungalow turned kitchy cafe that everyone loves. Closed on Mondays.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Bru+World+Cafe/@19.0501165,72.8242378,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c947409e0abf:0x400f34747a377f63" target="_blank"><b>Bru World Cafe, St John Baptist Road</b></a> - Similar to its cousin on 33rd road, it has near perfect WiFi and good coffee, but it's a little dark and noisy. </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="https://www.google.co.in/maps/place/Chaayos/@19.0504941,72.8244423,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m2!3m1!1s0x3be7c94746dfc5f3:0xeb18c5417e0688e5" target="_blank"><b>Chaayos </b></a>- Great choice for the budget conscious days, and I love their teas. </span></li>
</ol>
</div>
Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-57802955254180803332016-01-06T19:06:00.000+05:302016-01-11T20:11:51.490+05:30In Defence of the Animal called Family (not that it needs me to defend it)It's the middle of the post-holiday workweek, and it's the perfect time to look back on the amazing three weeks I've come back from, three weeks of a very people-filled existence across four cities. The joys of a location agnostic job became very obvious during this holiday season - I worked from Goa (not at all funny and not all original to say that '<i>working </i>from Goa' is a misnomer) through the middle of December and spent the end-of-December-start-of-January in Chandigarh, Amritsar and Delhi being the giddy couch potato that I excel at, all the while surrounded by various members of my loving and lovely family.<br />
<br />
All my family holidays in recent years have been 3-5 day affairs, and all of them have been amazing. This December was especially memorable not just because it was three weeks of uninterrupted family time, not even because it may have been the first time in our lives that my brother and I did not get into fights and name-calling, but because I had some amazing epiphanies about the value of this animal called family, which I will now proceed to try and summarize:<br />
<br />
<b>It's a little bit of everything. </b>I think I've cracked the code of why joint families work. Sort of. When you live with one person, the apple of your eye that he is, there's so much pressure on him to be entertaining, generous, available, wise and crazy, every single day. When you live, on the other hand, with a large bunch of people, that pressure gets distributed. The fact that this animal is made of some utterly unique components makes for so much entertainment all around. There's a dad who cracks dad jokes like no other, there's a mom who is so generous with her time and hugs and kisses, there's an aunt who is funny and kind, there are cousins who have turned sarcastic one-liners into a fine art, there's a brother who introduces you to five new gadgets a day. I feel like I grew at least a thousand new brain cells this vacation.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>They keep you humble. </b>Every once in a while, you'll do something half decent at work, and colleagues will praise you to the skies - <i>"No one negotiates as hard and as charmingly like you do, Manjot!"</i> And just when you're starting to bask and grow a permanent smirk, you will see two family members almost crack a rib, laughing at that unnecessarily long-winded and utterly embarrassing story that your mom loves to tell about you, a story that involves watermelons and bed-wetting at a shockingly grown up age.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>They make you feel like you're cat's whiskers. </b>The point above notwithstanding, the same above-mentioned mom can make you sound like Einstein and Edmund Hillary rolled into one when describing childhood feats of intelligence and bravery. And nothing beats overhearing your father bragging about your career to his buddies.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>There's always someone crazier than you. </b>Want to go for a dip in the sea at 2 AM? I have a cousin who will be up and throwing swimming shorts on before you've finished thinking that thought. There's always someone who has done and dusted through all the crazy ideas that you might come up with - changed careers for the nth time, driven five hours to a hill town for lunch just because they felt like it, started two businesses before 30, decided to become vegetarian at age 10, traveled through 8 cities in 10 days because they had '10 days to kill between two vacations' (this last is my retired parents), and so on.<br />
<br />
So, yeah, my holidays were awesome.Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-4002596628613715242015-10-17T16:03:00.001+05:302019-05-14T15:19:56.553+05:30The report card of the millenniumA few weeks ago, on September 25 2015, the world sat down and reviewed its 15-year performance report. This was done with some <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/global-development/live/2015/sep/25/un-sustainable-development-summit-2015-goals-sdgs-united-nations-general-assembly-70th-session-new-york-live" target="_blank">fanfare</a>, not in the least because the coolest pope in history attended, but the discussion did not receive as much attention as it deserves. Shouldn't the world be talking about this more? How did we do on the promises we had made? Did we meet our targets, did we miss them by a whisker or a mile? The discussions emerging from the <a href="http://www.undp.org/content/undp/en/home/presscenter/pressreleases/2015/09/24/undp-welcomes-adoption-of-sustainable-development-goals-by-world-leaders.html" target="_blank">UN Sustainable Development summit</a> remind me of the days when I was part of one of the most organised workplaces possible - a consulting company. The same wordy discourses on strengths and 'development needs' which, if someone wanted to simplify them, could be said like this: <i>There are three things you did well last year. There are four things you absolute suck at and you need to get better at them fast if you want to survive. Get to it.</i> And this is how I'd like to simplify the world's 15-year report card:<br />
<br />
In September 2000, the world's leaders got together and adopted the "Millennium Development Goals", also called the MDGs, which were time-bound, quantified targets to address the inequity and injustice in the world. There were 8 goals in total, each broken down into targets and indicators. For example, the slightly lofty-sounding <b>Goal 1</b> -"To Eradicate Extreme Hunger and Poverty", had two targets and five indicators: <br />
<br />
<b>Target 1: </b>Halve, between 1990 and 2015, the proportion of people whose income is less than $1 a day.<br />
<b>Indicators </b>(World Bank ratios):<br />
1. Proportion of population below $1 (1993 PPP) per day<br />
2. Poverty gap ratio [incidence x depth of poverty]<br />
3. Share of poorest quintile in national consumption<br />
<br />
<b>Target 2:</b> Halve, between 1990 and 2015, the proportion of people who suffer from hunger.<br />
<b>Indicators </b>(UNICEF, WHO and FAO ratios:<br />
4. Prevalence of underweight children under five years of age<br />
5. Proportion of population below minimum level of dietary energy consumption<br />
<br />
...and so on for the remaining 7 goals. This internationally agreed framework of 8 goals, complemented by 18 targets and 48 technical indicators was going to address poverty, hunger, disease, lack of adequate shelter, and exclusion-while promoting gender equality, education, and environmental sustainability. They included basic human rights-the rights of each person on the planet to health, education, shelter, and security.<br />
<br />
Cut to September 2015, and to my original question: how did we do? We did well in some goals, messed up others. While the proportion of people living under $1.25 PPP a day is lower than it was, the proportion of women dying in childbirth remains unacceptably high and 6 million children are still dying before reaching their fifth birthday. As the MDG dream drew its last breath, it gave birth to MDG 2.0, with bigger and more numerous arms and legs. The SDGs (Sustainable Development Goals) are 17 goals with 169 targets. They are more ambitious and they have greater world consensus. We're now going to have NO ONE living under $1.25 a day by the time we arrive in 2030, we're going to have no one dying of AIDS, and we're going to do all this while taking care of the planet.<br />
<br />
The infographic below summarizes our performance on the first six MDGs and their evolution into the first five SDGs.<br />
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<b>Next: MDGs 7 and 8 and SDGs 6 through 17.</b><br />
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Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-34760537023818259542015-06-21T22:32:00.000+05:302015-10-18T02:16:50.859+05:30A "healthy" lifestyle is a moving target<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">A
couple of weeks ago I stumbled into the keto* jungle: read dozens of scientific papers
for and against, wolfed through a hundred threads on <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/keto/" target="_blank">Reddit</a>, and decided I was
ready.
Ten days into the diet, still unsure about how good an idea it has
been, I read that Audrey Hepburn lived a long and productive while indulging a pasta obsession - two big plates of spaghetti and
ketchup every day. That is probably 200 grams of carbs daily (Keto-ers stay under 20)! Gah, what if carbs aren’t the enemy? I worry that my goal to be fit enough to run
half marathons into my dotage is a chimera.It is dependent on many sub-goals,
all of which keep shifting. I have nightmares about a wise, handsome
physician shaking his head over 70-year old me, saying – <i>lady, if only you had
taken more care in your 30s, your bones might have been healthier! </i>Sigh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span lang="EN-US">In
general, this generation is believed to be the healthiest that humans have ever
been. And yet, there is so much to worry about. We’re living longer, more
active lives, but we also get chronic illnesses far earlier.We're more aware, understand diets/exercise regimens better and have the
money to indulge in them. But we’re
also more obese, more prone to getting type II diabetes and less likely to be shocked at thirty year olds getting diagnosed with hypertension. </span>The
reasons for our doom are also entrenched in our good fortune (we all know what
they are, but let me quickly run through them): easy access to processed food,
fulfilling careers that leave no time for exercise, wonderful entertainment
options which keep us glued to devices. It’s easy to conclude that people who
worked with their hands and ate simpler food easily lived healthier lives, and
we’re all going to get coronaries in the next decade.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It
doesn’t need to be that simple (or that grim): we can use the advantages of
this century to win this round too. And here’s when I finally come to the point of the post after all the rambling – how great is it to turn the technology that
keeps us sedentary into the very thing that keeps us healthy? Long before my
brother gifted me the <a href="http://www.amazon.in/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=fitbit&tag=googinhydr1-21&index=aps&hvadid=62487584686&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16339901208789656743&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_5on9k1n9vm_b" target="_blank">Fitbit</a>, long before I saw <a href="http://www.remedysocial.com/" target="_blank">RemedySocial</a>, I have been interested
in measuring health indicators. I recently found a diary entry from the year 2000, which lists my weight, blood biochemistry parameters and says that I can run
5 km in 26 minutes. It is amusing, but I don’t need those notebooks anymore. It
has become easier to keep track of your health in this decade. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I've recently learned about <a href="http://www.remedysocial.com/">RemedySocial</a>, a brainchild of Dr. Purav Gandhi and team, who have developed an algorithm to assess a person's risk of contracting 14 major diseases through an online assessment. The platform gives you a score, compares it to others with similar demographics, and gives you advice on the specific health indicators you should start tracking. He puts it well: <i>“Our health is undeniably a downward curve, but we can change its slope! We can make the curve flatter by making early interventions. Good genes don’t last forever.” </i>I took the assessment which took slightly longer the promised five minutes, but I was expecting that. The detailed report that came through was impressive. My short term wellness scores were good (yayy!) but my long term health risk scores were, well, interesting. I might have underestimated the health risks that I face given my life style choices and family history. The platform suggested targeted lab tests and health tips that I needed to follow – just the food that my data obsessed brain needs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I’m suddenly noticing a spate of health-related apps; what this one does may not be unique. But I’m happy to recommend them because their approach is fresh and fun, and I was amazed at the sheer number of insights the algorithm was able to extract. It doesn’t matter what health tracker you use, as long as you use one.While I continue to think that perfect health will remain a moving target, it might not a bad idea for us to keep moving in its general direction, to be more aware of our own bodies, and to take control of how healthy our own future selves will be. </span><br />
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<b><i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Disclaimer: Dr. Purav Gandhi, the founder of <a href="http://www.remedysocial.com/" target="_blank">RemedySocial</a>, is an ex-colleague and a friend, and this blogpost is partly motivated by my hope to make his venture better known. All the views above, however, are my own. </span></i></b><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 115%;"><i>*Keto is a diet philosophy
that says the human body functions more efficiently if it uses fats rather than
carbs as primary fuel, but that’s all I’m saying. More on keto in another post</i></span></span></div>
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Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-54480145107804180792015-05-10T23:20:00.004+05:302015-10-18T00:05:15.928+05:30Ladder of Years<div class="MsoNormal">
I stumbled upon an amazing book this weekend: Anne Tyler’s <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ladder-Years-Novel-Anne-Tyler/dp/0449910571" target="_blank"><b>Ladder of Years</b></a>. It’s the story about a forty-something woman who abandons her seemingly well-ordered family life without a clear plan (or even a very clear reason) and finds some great adventures in the process of finding herself. It starts out as a typical - but still interesting - coming-of-age novel, from the point of view of a woman who has spent her life being a homemaker-receptionist for a successful doctor husband. The husband treats her with a mixture of vague disinterest and mild condescension, and you find yourself rooting for her when she walks out of a family vacation on the beach, even as you suspect that there is more to the story than meets the eye. I love this style of fiction - when the narrator is a part of the story, and is hiding critical character flaws, showing people through a less than objective lens, until you learn to see through the clever sleight of hand, and are able to say with glee - <i>Aha! So things aren't really what they seem! </i>Zoe Heller did it in <a href="http://www.amazon.in/Notes-Scandal-Zo%C3%AB-Heller/dp/0141029064" target="_blank"><b>Notes on a Scandal</b></a> - another book that I read this month with an equal mixture of amazement and unease.<br />
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But Ladder of Years is more than just a clever book. It is a winner because of the empathy you feel for the people in the book. It has been a long time since I've had the reaction that I did two hours into this book: I looked down at the progress bar and noticed that I had already finished 30% of the book, and groaned aloud - <i>"Oh no! I was so hoping it was going to be a longer book!"</i> I knew I was going to miss Delia when she starts to walk to the town's small library at five pm every evening to take exactly one book to read in bed. She's very worried the day she realizes that the large font of that day's book would mean that it would not last her till her bedtime; and so she consciously slows down in her reading, and decides to notice the people in the restaurant that she has been eating at for the past several weeks.<br />
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I don't want to give anything away; let me just say that the book is full of moments and people that stay with you long after you've sighed over the last page. And I know I will read this book again, more than a few times. But first I'm going to read every Anne Tyler that I can lay my hand on. By a minor coincidence, I read her <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Noahs-Compass-Novel-Anne-Tyler/dp/0345516591" target="_blank"><b>Noah's Compass</b></a> last week, and loved that one too. </div>
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<br />Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-58229548724277092272015-01-18T00:36:00.000+05:302017-03-20T21:49:46.814+05:30A non-confrontational life<span style="font-family: inherit;">It has been a difficult week. <a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-30856403">Raif Badawi</a> is getting flogged for creating a website. A lot of loved people are extremely upset about the world's position on free speech and expression. Poor Pope Francis, who I've long admired, <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/16/pope-francis-free-speech-charlie-hebdo">is getting a lot of flak</a> for saying that it is important to respect people's religious sentiments, and freedom of speech is not an excuse to be hurtful. My problem, and the reason why this week has been tough, is that I see both points of view. I dream of a world where people can make fun of anyone's favorite religion, country or football team without being killed for it. But I also find myself siding with the Pope; I worry that absolute free speech leads to hate crimes, and I would like freedom of speech to be tempered with generosity, respect and acceptance. But the toughest part of this week is the realization that I do not like long arguments. About anything. <br /><br /> Let’s say we were discussing the two sides in another famous argument: what is more satisfying as a reader - printed books vs books on e-readers? Let's say you take the former side, and I'll take the latter. You would say that the sensory experience of reading the book is as important as the intellectual. The way the paper rustles against your fingers, the smell of the book, the sound of the turning page - there's no way you want to give these up. And I would say that for me, the act of reading is simply a way of communicating with the mind of the writer, and I absolutely do not care about the medium. Whether I'm reading from a phone screen or the paper bag that groceries came in, my pleasure is dependent solely on the content. Sometimes when I read off my tablet in bright daylight, I have to cup my fingers around the screen to cut the light off; even that does not bother me if what I'm reading is interesting. In addition, I enjoy not having to carry books when I'm traveling, and the fact that I'm destroying fewer trees now than when I bought paper books. At this point, you would say that choosing e-readers over real books is impure love, and it's a little like choosing to eat instant noodles over a gourmet meal. This comparison will sadden me, but I will not respond. Not because I don't have interesting metaphors, or because I don't care enough to continue my conversation with you, but because this is about as much debate as I like, and I want to go back to reading or daydreaming. My favorite debate would be about 8 minutes long - let's define our positions, offer two sharp points each, get convinced to the other side or not, but admire each other's brilliant points, and end charmingly, fully respecting each other's right to stay with his point of view. <br /><br />Is this is cowardly? Maybe. Will people like me never contribute to changing the world? If Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, and Dr. Nelson Mandela were non-confrontational, would the world be the wonderful place it is? Maybe not. I did some research just now, and learned that the longest debate in the US senate's history took place in 1964, and lasted 57 days "including six Saturdays". Thinking about this exhausts me. What was the debate about? The Civil Rights Act, which aimed to end racial discrimination and segregation in public accommodations, public education and federally assisted programs. So yes, I get it that debates are important; they clearly change the world for the better. <br /><br />But perhaps, the world also needs people like me, who will teach by example, participate in change-making, do the honest and the brave thing every time it needs to be done, without engaging in a 5 hour discussion about it. <br /><br />Just like I prefer e-readers, I also prefer a non-confrontational life. And I would like the world to respect this, just like I respect the world's need to debate. So please continue to talk, but please be okay if I walk away. </span>Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-24652956980679826242014-09-27T11:51:00.001+05:302017-03-20T22:16:30.991+05:30A September in Ko Samui and Ko Phangan<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvrjpnOJRDoeSgg04LK1RG915VjzhSufHAGq__QvIR3frPEq5pCjiW2Vkxq-AcYhwtpBn26obAXvAyfzoqZ8rk6VFKq0GfkyrM09mpjPSh4XLkS4zx7qAfGgdJVZzbq0KLUZlbUafPRmIh/s1600/ferry.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvrjpnOJRDoeSgg04LK1RG915VjzhSufHAGq__QvIR3frPEq5pCjiW2Vkxq-AcYhwtpBn26obAXvAyfzoqZ8rk6VFKq0GfkyrM09mpjPSh4XLkS4zx7qAfGgdJVZzbq0KLUZlbUafPRmIh/s320/ferry.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ferry from Ko Samui to Ko Phangan</td></tr>
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We've just returned from a fantastic couple of weeks at Ko Samui and Ko Phangan (Thailand) - and I cannot wait to go there again. We chose these islands for our honeymoon because a detailed research into weather at beach destinations near India revealed that the Gulf of Thailand is the least likely in this region to be ravaged by monsoons in September (the Andaman sea is said to be the worst during this time). We were well rewarded for the research because we had glorious sunshine for ten of the twelve days of our holiday. <br /><br /> Ko Samui and Ko Phangan are tiny islands (247 and 125 sq.km respectively) and part of the Chumphon Archipelago in the Gulf of Thailand, about 700 km south of Bangkok. A quick image search will shows white sands, blue seas, and amazing sunsets - and all I can say is that the pictures do not exaggerate. At all. The sands are soft, clean and worthy of long romantic walks, and the sea at most beaches is like a massive bathtub - calm, clear and shallow - ideal for swimming, or just lying on your back and pretending you never have to go back to work again. There are some amazing coral reef formations too, and both islands are highly recommended for snorkelling and scuba diving, but this review is going to be totally from a beach bum's perspective. <br /><br />Getting to Ko Samui requires a fair bit of decision making. The faster way is to take the hour long flight from Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi Airport (Airport code: BKK) to the Ko Samui airport (Airport code: USM). Words fail me as I try to describe the Samui airport. I've never seen another airport that looks like a beach resort - the departure terminals come with thatched roofs, palm trees, lots of free food and free wifi. It has hourly flights from Bangkok, and until recently, Bangkok Airways, which built this terminal, was the only airline serving it. As one might expect, this option is a bit expensive (Bangkok Airways flight from BKK to USM is about INR 11,000 for a one way trip). The other option, which costs about a fourth of this, is to take a flight from Bangkok's Don Mueang Airport (DMK) to Surat Thani or Chumphon, which are both on the mainland, and are connected by ferries to Ko Samui and other islands (Ko Phangan, Ko Tao, and the rest) in the Gulf of Thailand. This latter option takes close to 6 hours to make it from Bangkok to Ko Samui (an hour for the flight to Surat-thani/Chumphon, an hour for the bus from the airport to the jetty, an hour for the ferry to Ko Samui, and a couple of hours of wait between each leg of the journey).<br /><br />Ko Samui, they say, used to be a backpacker's paradise, and it used to be possible to find great places to stay in about 200 Baht in the not too distant past. Let's just say that those days are well past, but there are over 300 hotels and B&Bs on the island and it's easy to find great places for all budgets. It might be a good idea to pick the beach you want to stay at - which basically means choosing between breathtaking sunrises or picture-perfect sunsets. I would suggest picking the east coast in Ko Samui and the west coast in Ko Phangan and getting the best of both worlds. The main beaches, clockwise from Nathon, are:<br /><ul>
<li>Nathon and Lipa Noi on the west coast; the ports where your ferry from the mainland will arrive. Not a favourite with tourists for staying, but known for beautiful sunsets. </li>
<li>Laem Yai, on the north-west tip of the island. Also not strewn with tourist accommodations (I think Four Seasons has a property here), also known for perfect sunsets. </li>
<li>Maenam, on the northern coast, very quiet and relatively unknown </li>
<li>Bophut, which is a quiet laid-back fishing village, but has some of the best restaurants </li>
<li>Bang Rak, on the north eastern tip, well known for the Big Buddha statue </li>
<li>Choeng Mon, the quiet beach on the north shore; parts of it are too rocky for swimming. We chose to stay here, at a resort called <a href="http://www.tongsaibay.co.th/en/main.php">The Tongsai Bay</a>, which I cannot recommend enough. This is the first five-star resort on the island, and I was blown away by their commitment to protecting the environment - recycled water for plants, and not a trace of plastic anywhere! </li>
<li>Chaweng, which I believe is largest beach, and most favoured, because of its calm, warm water, of the hot-tub-in your backyard variety. I will remember it for the yummy street food, and the super-pocket friendly massages (an hour long foot-massage for 300 Baht! and it was really good). You can walk in the water for at least a kilometer and a half, with the water coming up to your waist. </li>
<li>Lamai, the second most popular beach, filled with great eating places, and colorful shops. Both Lamai and Chaweng have the best nightlife on the island. </li>
<li>South Samui beaches like Hua Thanon, LaemSet, Bang Kao are relatively untouched.</li>
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Ko Phangan is what Ko Samui was, about 20 years ago, before it became all swanky and five-star. Best known for the full moon party and the beautiful diving sites off Sailrock, it looks like a sleepy village with no more than 100 hotels and 200 restaurants (about 1 hotel and 2 restaurants per square kilometer - significantly less packed in comparison to Ko Samui). It is a budget traveller's dream, with restaurants serving delicious thai food at 50 bahts, and foot massages going at 100 Bahts! Below is a quick clockwise summary of my favourite beaches: <br /><ul>
<li>Thongsala - the port where the ferry from Ko Samui will drop you, also the busiest, most touristy part of the island. This is home to an amazing Saturday night market, with mountains of the most colorful food you'll ever see - from purple colored sushi retailing to bright yellow mangoes, from steaming phad thai noodles to some home-made icecream that was too delicious for words. We stayed in this part of town, at the quirkily named <a href="http://www.phangan.info/divinecomedie/">Divine Comedie</a>, which was a great place to stay - the beautiful rooms, the beach facing pool and bar, the hammocks on the roof were perfect; my only (minor) grudge was that the beach in front of the hotel, was too shallow and too rocky to wade into. But there are some amazing beaches on both sides of the hotel, and the absolute best restaurant on island - <a href="http://www.tripadvisor.in/Restaurant_Review-g303907-d1514257-Reviews-Fisherman_s_Restaurant_Bar-Ko_Phangan_Surat_Thani_Province.html">Fisherman's restaurant </a>- was a 5 minute walk away, so it was all good. </li>
<li>Haad Salad - has some of the most high-end resorts </li>
<li>Thong Nai Pan - locals call this beach the "paradise on earth" </li>
<li>Haad Rin - this is where the famous full moon party takes place. I will remember the party for the beautiful neon colors and the alcohol being served in buckets (small ones), but I've seen crazier things at business school parties. </li>
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There are other beaches too, that you stumble on to, when you're driving around lazily and have to stop because "o my god! this is so beautiful!" - beaches that have lovely names like the Secret Beach and Haad Yao. And there's a beach called the Bottle Beach, in a very secluded northern part of the island that you can only get to by boat. <br /><br />Both islands, and this excited me more than the full moon party, have free apps (<a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.koh_phangan.guide">here </a>and <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=app.mypocketks">here</a>) for exploring the islands, complete with reviews of beaches, restaurants, cooking classes, you name it. The most useful suggestion I can give would be to download these apps and use them mercilessly. Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-66867817533521441302014-07-01T09:34:00.000+05:302017-03-20T22:21:46.388+05:30Exploring Kolkata: My tips on using transport in the city of joy<span style="font-family: inherit;">In my opinion, Kolkata is one of the 5 most interesting cities in India. The fact that it is the only city in the country to have a tram network would alone put it on my map of Cities I Love. What's not to love in something that marries the joy of exploring a city with the joy of riding a train?! And I will tell you a secret - this is the only tram in the world that will stop wherever you want, whenever you want. Say your tram is turning the lush corner of the 'maidan', and you see an interesting football match that you'd like to participate in, or it is crawling through the impossible traffic on the M.G Road, and you spy rainbow colored bangles that you absolutely have to try (yes, the tram moves slowly enough for you to be able to admire bangles in stores). All you need to do is smile and nod at the tram conductor, who is busy in a heated political discussion with a passenger, ring the tiny bell next to the door, and the tram will stop. No one will be annoyed, or ask you why - it is perfectly acceptable to get off the tram and go where your fancy takes you. And the opposite holds true as well: if your feet are sore, and you find yourself near tram tracks, just hang around. If they see you waiting, they'll be happy to stop. This adorable randomness would explain why the Calcutta Tramways Company (CTC) has made the tram schedules so hard to find. You can find them <a href="http://www.calcuttatramways.com/schedules.aspx">here</a>, and plan your trip with the assumption that trams start about 15 minutes before or after they're meant to. I wouldn't rely on them for getting anywhere on time, but for a tourist who has leisure, they're a god-send. My advice would be choose any starting point from the schedule, and to walk/take a cab there.<br /><br />If you don't like the idea of aimless wandering through the city, hopping on and off trams, there are other interesting modes of transport, each one unique to the city. First, the yellow taxis. Most people agree that Kolkata would not be Kolkata without the yellow cabs. Nearly all the taxis are falling apart at the seams, and the cabbies can be very crusty if you rub them the wrong way (one memorable conversation went like this - <i>Me: Will you go to Hindustan Park? He: No. Me, bewildered and upset because he was the 4th guy to turn me down: Why are you parked here then? He, smirking in a way only the Kolkata cabbie can: Because I like watching the traffic</i>). But if you're very polite, and if they're in the mood, they'll go everywhere, and tell very interesting stories on the way.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGCeUuCQ0SnEW8ULoWoaohJj7bmxZ19R22CAGLuvR000jnYpr-K_RFpNo5SQhyphenhyphenGXev1S02F0lZjuqWi32XCcyGRVYsTwSAymyosJoGiNK-S4APpcBDIFDwwTe0tp3RZnl9_FGnrb3KZPB2/s1600/kolkata_metro_map.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGCeUuCQ0SnEW8ULoWoaohJj7bmxZ19R22CAGLuvR000jnYpr-K_RFpNo5SQhyphenhyphenGXev1S02F0lZjuqWi32XCcyGRVYsTwSAymyosJoGiNK-S4APpcBDIFDwwTe0tp3RZnl9_FGnrb3KZPB2/s1600/kolkata_metro_map.jpg" /></a> <br /><br /><br />Source: www.seacitymaps.com <br /><br /><br /> Second, the Kolkata Metro. The metro line is a fairly fast mode of travel, and is very easy to understand, being a single line. So a train is either going toward the airport (the Dum Dum), or going towards the south of the city, to the Kavi Subhash station. There are 21 stations on the way, and the frescoes on each station wall are unique works of art. I especially like the murals in the Esplanade station. So if you like efficient sight-seeing, and if you're short on time, it would be a good idea to make a list of the places you want to see and eat/drink at, and then use the metro wherever it fits into the itinerary (it's the first metro in the country, and should definitely make it to every Kolkata itinerary) and cabs everywhere else. <br /><br />And finally, the circular rail. This one is mainly for train enthusiasts like me, but has two added advantages - proximity to some of the must-see places in Kolkata, and fantastic views of the Hooghly river for a large part of the route. A schedule of the circular rail can be seen <a href="http://www.kolkatabengalinfo.com/2012/12/dumdum-majherhat-kolkata-circular-train.html">here</a>, but this again, is a picturesque but less reliable way of moving through the city. My own affair with the circular rail did not begin well. I saw the map and decided to board the circular rail at the romantic sounding "Majerhat" because it looked like it would be close to the river. But when I reached the station, I learned that the monsoons had changed some schedules, and a train was likely to arrive from the station at 3 PM (it was 1 PM then). I'm sorry to have to say that the station was extremely dirty, muddy and depressing. Not relishing the prospect of waiting there for 2 hours for a train that might not arrive, I decided to take a cab to the next station. Things got steadily worse because the road in front of the station was a mud track, did not have any cabs at a 10-minute walk in either direction, and was completely untraceable on my phone maps. After half an hour of walking through ankle deep mud, I reached a road and got into the first cab I saw, and when the cabbie turned around in surprise, (you're supposed to ask - "XYZ place chaloge?", and get into the cab only when they say yes), I'm ashamed that I squeaked - "Just get me out of here!". <br /><br /> But I soon found that the maps were working again, and asked him to take me to what is almost my favourite road in Kolkata - the Sarat Bose Road. After fortifying myself with two fantastic cups of tea at a delightful cafe called <a href="http://www.zomato.com/kolkata/the-tea-trove-sarat-bose-road">The Tea Trove</a>, I decided to tackle the circular rail again. This time, I headed towards the <a href="http://www.tripadvisor.com.au/Attraction_Review-g304558-d2573276-Reviews-Princep_Ghat-Kolkata_Calcutta_West_Bengal.html">Prinsep Ghat</a> and struck gold. This ghat, very close to the Fort William, should definitely be on your Kolkata itinerary; it has a porch (built in the year 1843, dedicated to one James Prinsep, who is known for deciphering a lot of historical inscriptions on coins and rock/metal edicts, including the Ashoka inscriptions), set in a beautiful garden from which you can some great views of the Hooghly and the Howrah. Princep Ghat to Babughat is a lovely 2 km walk next to the river, and has some interesting historic relics including the Man O War jetty, and a 40-year old ice-cream shop which the locals seem to love. The train station in one corner of the park perfectly rounds up the storybook feel of this place. So I would think of the circular rail as a thing to see and experience rather than a mode of transport. I would recommend taking cab to the Prinsep Ghat (or the tram that goes around Fort William), and walk around the park until you hear the train coming. Then board the train, ride it up and down till the Bada Bazaar station - this should take about an hour. The views from the train will be worth the trouble. </span>Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7519004557208439288.post-22807272616579348872014-06-28T10:55:00.001+05:302015-10-18T00:11:09.927+05:30Thoughts of a brand new Vipassana Meditator <h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Or, a Review of the
10-day <a href="http://www.dhamma.org/" target="_blank">Vipassana </a>Course</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">16 June 2014<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In a train somewhere
in the middle of Madhya Pradesh<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I had the good fortune to spend the last ten days at a
Vipassana meditation center this month, and I’d like to put my thoughts down
for friends and family who have been asking about the experience. But l</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">et me first clarify my position on this subject. Although I've long been
curious about meditation and have been drawn to
courses that teach you how it’s done, there are two reasons why it isn't an active part of my life yet. The first is the stereotypes that exist
around meditation and spiritualism. A lot of us say that we'd "like to be
more spiritual", but at the same time, meditation is viewed with mild
discomfort, perhaps even contempt. It is associated with people who are
looking for attention or publicity, hippies, people who are lost, depressed, or
sick, or generally people who just have a lot of time on their hands. I know
such perceptions exist because I have held them myself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The second barrier has been the sheer hard work and
commitment it needs. Mr. S.N. Goenka describes people like me with this interesting metaphor: Say you want a reliable source of water and start digging a well. Having dug a 5-foot hole in the ground, you get tired and bored and hear about
a place where you can find fresher and sweeter water – so you go there
and start digging. And get tired and bored after digging 5-feet. And so on
until you have a dozen pits, any of which would yield water if you dig for just a little while longer. The key would be to choose one,
and just keep at it. Easier said than done, of course.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTm9aIq9BrFrZHlywKvQqzl6L2fKnk_mIgyATndpPFnvJhWRKEsFyZJmfxFumYaAOmaNLf5fwUmaUYYR76ucwjTiatcleOqaCBu-AxR_ND-CwH-CwCUHDgDGjhiIYf3KPwX1qWBSoymF7q/s1600/20140615_071835%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTm9aIq9BrFrZHlywKvQqzl6L2fKnk_mIgyATndpPFnvJhWRKEsFyZJmfxFumYaAOmaNLf5fwUmaUYYR76ucwjTiatcleOqaCBu-AxR_ND-CwH-CwCUHDgDGjhiIYf3KPwX1qWBSoymF7q/s1600/20140615_071835%5B1%5D.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Vipassana Center in Borivali, Bombay</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>And now to my review of the course:</b> </span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I call it a review, not
to be presumptuous or irreverent, but for lack of a better word for a description that I hope will get people interested. The course is conducted over ten days,
which has been found to be the minimum amount of time
needed to teach the basics of the meditation technique. For this
entire 10-day period, you are required to live in one of the 150 or so
Vipassana centers across the world, with no contact with the outside world. You give up all electronic devices, reading and writing material. And
as a further device to still the mind, you take a vow of ‘noble silence’ for 9
of these 10 days. What this means is that you do not communicate with
anyone, by word or gesture, unless it is with your teacher or the management
and only about issues that make your meditation comfortable. You find yourself
unable to take your mind off your painful knee? Ask the teacher. You forgot
to carry soap, or want to drink only bottled water? Speak to the management.
The living quarters are clean and comfortable (the place where I did my course, the
<a href="http://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schpattana" target="_blank">Vipassana Center in Borivali, Bombay</a>, is almost luxurious, with air
conditioning, and laundry services. My old timer friends turn their noses up at these
comforts and say that centers based in wildernesses – like Igatpuri and Jaipur
– are more basic, but many times more
beautiful). You are served food 3 times a day – delicious, vegetarian food, in spicy
and non-spicy variants. You do not get any food after 5.30 PM (they say an
empty stomach is very conducive to effective meditation), but they’re happy to
make an exception for you should your medical condition require it. And all
this at no expense. The centers are run on voluntary donations given by
students and patrons across the globe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The management consists of volunteers who are all “old
students” – which is what they call people who have completed at least one
10-day course. This group of people is entitled to participate in short courses
(from 1-2-days) and long courses (up to 60 days) held across the globe. Nearly
half the students in my class were old students, which I thought was strange
until I learned that all practising Vipassana meditators are required to take the
10-day course annually, to ensure a comfortable journey on the path of
meditation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<h4>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>What does one do all
day</b>?</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You learn to meditate under clear, step-by-step instructions. You’re taught to still your mind, to sharpen it, and to train to it to
observe your body, with a goal to achieve increased mind-body awareness. And
why must one strive to achieve increased mind-body awareness? This is an
exciting area of thought, and every one understands this their own way. I'm reading Dr. Paul R. Fleischman’s
book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1928706533/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1928706533&linkCode=as2&tag=dropzone0c-20&linkId=IZ4NQXBT4P5GLAW5" target="_blank"><b>The Ancient Path</b></a> these days and really liking it</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">. </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This american psychiatrist is a brilliant writer - insightful and witty.</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Very simply put, the junction
of mind and body is where our deepest truths are stored, truths that consist of
unpleasant memories, motivations that drive us, everything. Modern psychiatry no longer finds this far-fetched, having dealt with victims of physical injury who carry ‘phantom
pains’ in non-existent limbs. And meditating on your body begins to
puts one in touch with the source of some revolutionary truths about oneself.
While these principles are hard to understand (and accept) for a beginner, <u>it
is not essential that one understands the mechanics of meditation for it to work</u> - just like you
don’t need to know what paracetamol does to the COX family of enzymes in your body
for it to stop the fever. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As a more concrete example, on day 1, they teach you to still your
mind and observe your breath. While this sounds simple enough, I agree with Dr.
Fleischman when he says that it like to trying to stand on a beach
ball. Just when you think you've got the hang of it, you fall. You get up, try
again and fall again. But over time, under specific, patient instructions from
your teacher, at end of a day or two of trying, you learn to do it. The
instructions get steadily more complex over the 10 days, and you find
yourself progressively understanding how the sensations on your body are
inexorably linked with your thoughts and motivations. It’s an absolutely
amazing realization, but it comes and goes. And to continue with the concrete
stuff, my two biggest worries before the course – that it will be boring and
physically painful – were both unfounded. It is a very interesting process,
both at an intellectual and an experiential level, and I was bored only during
the 90 minute breaks in the afternoon that you’re given for sleeping, washing
your clothes, etc. And conquering the pain was one huge adventure. They also
have backrests and chairs for people who might need them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<h4>
<i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So what can Vipassana do for you? (</i><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Or, why I’m hoping to convince some loved ones do participate in a course soon)....</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u>It's a great way to start the process of training your mind:</u> People have described the process as tuning your radio to catch the positive and harmonious waves in the universe, to become calmer and more effective participants in life. </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For meditation to have any long term transformative effect, it needs to become a daily part of your life. But even the 10 day course can change the way you look, feel and act, albeit temporarily (I have never slept so well). Nearly everyone reports feeling more alive, more aware of the self and the world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u>It's a connection with an amazing community: </u>Without going into details, let me just say that my ideas of what kind of people meditate have undergone a complete shift. On the last day, when you're permitted to speak, you learn that the unassuming people that you have been living with consist of some very impressive professionals and academics. And they all want to help you on your journey - they have centers in many cities where you can just go and spend a day of silence and reflection, any time you want. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It is also worthwhile to understand what it cannot do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What Vipassana is not:
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u>It is not a religious
sect.</u> Almost my favorite thing
about the course was its non-religious nature. Even though the meditation
technique being taught here is firmly rooted in the principles that Gautama
Buddha taught nearly 3000 years ago, it is important to understand that this is
not Buddhism. Buddhism as a religion did not start until nearly 5 centuries
after Buddha’s death. Even Buddha was not a Buddhist! They do not talk about God and souls and all those things, which, for me, was a huge relief.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u>It is not a
therapeutic technique.</u> I loved the sugar factory metaphor - If you set up a factory to make sugar, know that you're doing it for the sugar; you will get the molasses, sure, but do not set up the factory to get the molasses, they're not that important! What this means is that meditation is a way to transform your life, it is not something you're doing just to get rid of aches and pains and illnesses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u>It is not a way of
life where you do not care about things.</u><b> </b>I know some people who worry about the whole concept of detachment - will I stop caring about things? Am I learning to let go of ambition, and of love and relationships? The answer is no. You're being taught to let go - not of love and ambition - but of the discomfort that accompanies these. Minus the discomfort, one can be that much more impactful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><u>It is not a place to
have “experiences".</u><b> </b>Sorry to disillusion, but there will be no visions, no sensations of ecstasy, no sudden insights into the past and future. But there will be an amazing sense of joy for having started the process of learning something truly worthwhile. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.dhamma.org/en/courses/search" target="_blank">To find a course, click here. </a></span></b></div>
Manjothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14994055246471878110noreply@blogger.com6