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Friday, January 11, 2008

Mr. Yogi, Episode 5

Another of those things that simply beg to be recorded for posterity. I got out of bed to write this - sometimes it's just not fun laughing alone. This isn't slander because I'm not mentioning any names. Still, if you ever return to read my blog and if you recognize yourself, please forgive me. 

So here goes the latest installment in my adventures with Shaadi.com.

SMS on my mobile today- "Hi. My name is XYZ. Your dad gave me your number. Regarding Shaadi.com". Cryptic. A man of few words. I wrote back- "Yes, Papa told me to expect your call. Call me whenever" And he, potential suitor for my hand, writes back- "Can you call me? My balance is zero."

Well. Let's not get judgmental here. It's no big deal. Who knows, this will be the thing that we will laugh about years from now. So I stopped tittering and called him. The conversation went like this -ME: "Hi! I'm Manjot. My dad told me about you last night. So, how're you doing?" I think I'm beginning to develop a Joey routine here. Should watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S less. 
HIM: "So, what's happening?" Apparently he has his own Joey routine. Mine is better.

I've never needed too much an invitation to take the floor. So I tell him in great detail about what's happening - about my day, about the blood donation camp I'm organizing next month.... "....And what's up with you? Are you at work?"
HIM: "Yes, I'm just leaving now." Uncomfortable silence.
HIM: "So,what's happening?" O my God.That's what you said just now. But I'm not going to turn someone down just because he can't talk. Maybe he's just shy. Look at how terrible Ross is when he meets women for the first time. I really should give those F.R.I.E.N.D.S DVDs away.

ME: "Not much else is happening actually. Why don't we ask each other some specific things. Tell me what you're looking for here..What kind of woman do you hope to find? I saw your profile on Shaadi. And the thing that totally struck me was that the list of professions in 'your preferred partner' starts from Accountant and goes all the way up to Social worker, covers Beautician, Lawyer, Legal Professionals and Merchant Naval Officer....among twenty five others...How did that come about?"That will give him something to talk about.

Not much apparently. 
HIM: "There were so few hits on my profile all these months so I figured maybe I was expecting too much. Maybe I should not be choosy."
ME: "Awww...come on. Don't sound so disheartened. There's your perfect woman waiting for you somewhere. You'll find her someday. You have to continue being as choosy as you want to be. Your destiny will give you exactly what you choose." He's supposed to woo me. Why am I working so hard here?
HIM: "I don't believe in destiny and stuff. This happens in movies, not in real life. In real life, you just keep looking for the most suitable person in your social circle, and Shaadi is another way to widen that social circle."
Great. A bit of cynic here. But hey! Now we have something to argue about! Maybe it can still get interesting. We're having a conversation, yayyy!
ME: "Hey! Movies imitate life, you know. And people find magic on matrimonial sites too! I can tell you so many stories of friends who did...."
HIM: "Ummm..."
No? Don't want to hear my stories? Okay. Ugh, how I hate silences. But he takes initiative this time. 
HIM: "So, how tall are you?" Sigh, oh well. 
Me: " ...158 cm. That's 5 feet 3 inches" Silence. Am I expected to ask his height now? 
ME: "So how tall are you?"
HIM: "I'm six feet and one inch." I'm remembering so many dirty jokes at this point, but I'm guessing he's not ready for them.
ME: "Wow, that's really tall." 
HIM:"Yeah, it's okay." Yes, it really is okay. But what are we going to talk about now?
HIM: "I was thinking of asking you something." Yes, please.Something. Anything. "I need to see some more pictures of you. Your profile has only one. Can you send me some more?"

By this time the most incurable bits of my optimism have abandoned me. All I want is this to get over. Fast.
ME: "I have a blog. There are some pictures there. Why don't you check them out and maybe we talk later"
HIM: "OK."

Later, when Jivtesh asked me how it had been, I told him I give this guy 4 points. I actually give him a lot less, but I really don't want my family to give up on me. 
JIVTESH: "So what did you guys talk about?"
So I tell him what we talked about. There was a bit more than what I've written here, but in the same vein....
JIVTESH: "O my God. And this was the guy from IIT, wasn't he? You poor thing. Oh, you meant 4 out of a 100 then."
I think I did.


20 comments:

  1. Righto. But what or who is Mr. Yogi?

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  2. Hi BP
    Mr Yogi used to be this TV series...a really long time ago.....about this real pathetic loser guy who has been given a list of potential brides by his well meaning family - he's supposed to meet them one by one and select one.Don't remember much of it or how it ended, but Jivtesh (my brother) and I used to find it hilariously funny- never missed an episode. Recently Jivi realized that my life is turning into something like that series....I'm Mr. Yogi!! :(

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  3. Fantastic dude....in case u take up writing in future, remember I'm already ur first fan. U have a flair for writing...of capturing the reader's attention, however tired or bored he may be. Well, IIT or AFMC, the guy will get his girl i guess.....courier him some Friends DVDs.

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  4. LOL
    the first thought after reading this was, "have the sexes undergone a role reversal?"
    well, if they have then i am happy i did not call the girl my dad asked me to.
    just kidding.

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  5. well u do have a flair for writing.

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  6. Tejbir-
    Do call the girl your dad asked you to- life can really surprise you ; I've kind of become friends with the guy I wrote about- he turned out to have quite a sense of humor :)

    Anonymous-
    Thank you :) Do keep visiting.

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  7. rotfl... thats all these incidents make up for - a good blog post !!!

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  8. lol. that was so funny. I can feel your pain. My sister, who also has a profile on shaadi.com goes through the same things. she tells me about her meetings and talks with these potentail suitors. nothing ever comes off it but at least it gives us a gud laugh. keep em coming

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  9. Deez-
    You coming to read my post and leaving a comment gave me such a kick! It's like I'm finally a writer because my favorite writers are now reading me!Thank you.

    Anonymous-
    Nothing gives more comfort than the fact that others have gone through what we are going through!Thank you :)

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  10. you write so good, that phone call sounded real funny, and I saw the pics (skydiving) they are so nice.

    My dad is in army, and I gave it a shot too, but cudn't make it, they threw me out at the SSB. I wud love to do sky diving some day :)

    I guess I got the link of your blog from sikhiwiki, it was nice reading your blogs.

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  11. Hi Manu,
    Reading this made me laugh on a really boring, cold and dark evening in London. Thanks Manu, for keeping your head and sense of humour around all this!

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  12. Anonymous said...

    Hi Manu,
    Reading this made me laugh on a really boring, cold and dark evening in London. Thanks Manu, for keeping your head and sense of humour around all this!

    March 23, 2008 11:16 AM

    IS THIS YOU, POOJA ??

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  13. Forget "flair for writing"...I'm near speechless! Why, you ask? because it's like you took all the thoughts out of my head and spewed them out yourself!!!!! (And since you don't really know me, I'm rarely speechless!) Had amazing fun reading some of your blogs! Even the one about the the perfectly magical immune doctors we all are! I swear, you're like my long lost sister!Man, the stories we could share!! Looking forward to more anecdotes to read, review, awe and share back with you! Take care! And congrats on the wings!!! they look great on the uniform!

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  14. Hey Aarti
    Nothing makes my day better than appreciation from like minded creatures.Thanks.Do you have a blog too?

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  15. LOl..that was a very funny post on the shady.com travails..the saga continues in every marriageable person's life. Only the characters change. Great read and the humor was spot on.

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  16. i stumbled upon your blog while searching for Mr. Yogi, the famous character by Ketan Mehta.

    Given that the guy was from IIT, I can empathise with him. It is often difficult to discuss issues apart from technology, and often the sense of humor takes time to get adjusted to.

    Interesting blog- telling how the others might be feeling when I behave the same way.

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  17. Hey girl! Wonderful piece of work :)
    I just happened to stumble and read the piece considering it might have something to do with serial Mr.Yog!
    Am not sure if u are married by now or not...but ya i could relate to what u have written especially the conversation bit:)
    Good luck !

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  18. Haha.. seems like a nightmare of an experience.. Very well compiled and narrated :)

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  19. dont be so harsh on Mr. Yogi. That series is suppose to make you think, he was trying his best. Just that now when we see it, his best just wasn't good enough. I remember that episode where he meets a really tall girls, nasd all the time keeps wondering why does not move from her bed. In the end she does, and she's like 4 inches taller. even today i men find it intimidating dating a taller girl.

    But your case was funny from far, and far from funny when it would happen to oneself.

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  20. Yogi was not a bad character. In many ways he was caught between being new-aged and traditional. I remember the 3rd episode with the tall girl. Even today, a guy may find it intimidating dating a taller girl, marrying toh baad ki baat hai

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